this post was submitted on 09 Jun 2024
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No Stupid Questions

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I'm thinking the animals would easily defeat us, since trying to get all 8 billion+ humans to agree on a plan of attack would be a near-impossible task. By the time we'd be done trying to coordinate a plan, I figure the lions and cheetahs would have already devoured us, not to mention the larger animals like the elephants.

Even so, I think we shouldn't underestimate the smaller creatures like rodents and insects. Most of them carry diseases, so if they came in large numbers, they could easily wipe out a good percentage of humans.

However, if humans were allowed to use the military's weapons, like tanks and canons, I think we might have a fighting chance. But if we went straight to using the nukes, it would result in no winner since the whole planet would die.

Would the animals win, due their sheer numbers and combined strength? Or would the humans win because of our combined intellect and vast knowledge of the animal kingdom? What do you think?

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[–] [email protected] 83 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Look around you, we're winning, and we're not even trying. We are literally in the midst of a mass extinction event driven by human behavior.

Maybe roaches will outlast us, but we're headlong into make this planet pretty unlivable for almost all species, let alone ourselves.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 5 months ago (8 children)

Yes, we are defeating non-human life without trying. if we were trying I imagine we could make quite a dent.

but if the animal kingdom was trying, I think that would be pretty terrifying.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Looks menacingly at nature

"Imagine how much worse it would be if we were trying."

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[–] [email protected] 59 points 5 months ago

I think we already won?

[–] [email protected] 34 points 5 months ago (5 children)

Ever seen ants disassemble a much larger animals carcass?

Imagine trying to keep millions of angry ants out of your house, not imagine they have support from spiders, racoons, birds.

Throw in dropping snakes down chimneys.

Bees stop pollinating our crops, larger animals could take our dead and drop them in our reservoirs. Cities are done.

You might like the TV show called "Zoo", it looks at some of this and gets pretty crazy

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

It didn't take long for this video to make me shudder. Cool, but creepy.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

I take it you've never watched The Naked Jungle. I actually didn't know that was the name of the movie until now. Not the best name. Anyway, it's about millions of ants destroying everything in their path and a cocoa plantation owner trying to save his property from them.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

Yep I read that the combined biomass of ants outweigh the combined biomasss of humans

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 5 months ago

If they team up and act coordinated, animals should win pretty easy. You would be attacked immediately by thousands of insects and a lot of birds when you step outside. They could poison water and food sources and attack the electrical grid. Large mammals would be our smallest problem. Imagine coordinated moscito attacks and small bugs crawling into your home through every small gap by thousands. Thx for the nightmare. Reminds me of the Birds from Hitchcock.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 5 months ago

We won. Not even close.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Fungus comes in the outside challenger and ~~b~~eats us all

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago (1 children)

It's a stalemate with fungus. We can't kill it and it isn't capable of doing more than just sitting there. Menacingly.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago (1 children)

It looks so delicious sauteed in butter but then again so do we

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

Long pig goes great with mushrooms.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago

I'm really pushing the limits of "No Stupid Questions"...

[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago (1 children)

If you include insects and arthropods and everything suddenly turns into uberbloodlust-kill-all-humans then non-human animals win, hands down. I think people overestimate their ability, the effectiveness of weapons, and the sheer number of insects that are near you at all times. Insect biomass alone outstrips humans by an insane margin. Very few mammals or other animals would get a lick in, I think. There is no hermetically sealed bunker that would hold for long, and that won't save you from the mites already on your skin although they probably can't do a ton of a damage.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Mosquitoes are the only thing that kills more humans than other humans. In fact, if you look at the top 10 animals that kill humans and add up 2-9s per year totals they're a bit less than mosquitoes. Also the list is very bug and parasite heavy.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_deadliest_animals_to_humans

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

If only motor vehicles were animals.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago (1 children)

If the bugs target our food supply we'd be done for

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

Gardener here, I think it's too late.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago (2 children)

If this means that every animal immediately goes berserk and tries to kill all humans, and 'animal' includes bugs, then the animals probably win.

Those people in relatively secure places without enough animals when it starts could survive, but there's probably be 50% or higher casualties among the general human population in less than a day.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Depends on the conditions. Is it a wall of death where both sides charge at each other and fight to the death? Do the animals communicate and strategize, or just gain a sudden bloodlust for humans and march at us?

If the animals were able to coordinate, I would worry about a giant ant golem stomping through cities.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

Ant golem sounds epic.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago (3 children)

After we win, we'll all starve to death. I'm not even saying that we have to eat animals. I'm saying that without animals there would soon be no food of any kind.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

since trying to get all 8 billion+ humans to agree on a plan of attack would be a near-impossible task.

We wouldn't need even close to that many humans. Just a couple of million people (the size of a medium-large military force) with the proper funding could probably kill off all of the large to medium animals within a few decades.

Killing of all the arthropods would be more tricky and we probably couldn't completley eradicate them just because we wouldn't be able to find them all.

Of course that's purley for winning in a direct confrontation. Without any animals we'd probably go extinct not long after, so it's not really a win in the end.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

Animals could fight a really good long game. Especially species that reproduce very quickly.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

I was also thinking "sure, big animals are scary. But have you considered the tiny #1 human killer?"

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago (1 children)

We're already IN the 6th great extinction: humans ARE exterminating the marine & terrestrial ecologies.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

Mostly by accident, imagine what we could do if we were trying to kill everything off.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

You know that meme about having immortality but if a snail catches you then you die? There's a snail out there in the real world that can actually kill you.

Animals win.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

If weapons are allowed, we would win by a landslide. If no weapons are allowed, even then I would think the animals would just start killing each other before they even get to us.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

ha, one species defense/offense vs everything nature has in its current inventory for defense/offense?? and a biomass that makes us look like a rounding error?

on the other hand, were doin a dandy job killing the planet so maybe we will win a stupid prize

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Do viruses and bacteria count? Antibac resistance is building. I imagine a virus that fritzed our brains would give animals some advantage.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Given that the vast majority of animals in the world are now domesticated and cattle, we already won.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago (2 children)

You are either vastly underestimating the number of species on the planet, or vastly overestimating human domestication practices.

https://ourworldindata.org/how-many-species-are-there

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I think humans would have a hard time winning if animals have homo sapiens on their side

If the animal team wouldnt include humans, would anyone win? If nukes were launched, even if no human on Earth was able to live, there are still people in space that would at least be able to survive for slightly longer, but would that even kill all the insects? How could humans even kill every single animal? How would the animals kill all the humans? It would be easier humans to coordinate than for animals and if the goal for the humans is survival and killing, would the animals be able to counter any strategy humans try?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

Every animal wins there’s like a billion bugs to a person at the moment

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

I think diversity is going to be the animals' biggest advantage. Stopping a pride of lions is completely different from stopping a swarm of mosquitos. We'd die off faster than we could protect ourselves from EVERYTHING.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Every animal?

I think the humans lose. I can't even keep mice out of my garage.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

This question reminded me of the old series Zoo. What happens when animals band together against man...first two seasons were decent enough

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Humans would not be able to annihilate all the animals, given how many live underground/in deep oceans etc., and how integrated they are into our own lives leading to an unacceptable risk of collateral damage. However, the animals would be completely ineffective due to a lack of cohesion and ability to coordinate attacks. So basically humans would kill some of the animals and then it would devolve into a stalemate.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

If we loose, everyone loses.

Just saying.

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