Asklemmy

Littering.

When someone carelessly throws their trash on the ground, that says a huge amount about their respect for other people, their feelings about the environment, and even their views on social equality.

It's a tiny thing, but an immediate dealbreaker.

People who throw their trash on the ground are the same people who yell and get mad at minimum-wage staff, while those staff hold back tears. They are the people who take more food at a buffet restaurant than they could ever even eat. They are the people who think the world and everyone in it owes them whatever they want, but without ever giving anything back.

I bet we all know a person whose car looks like a scary biohazard of old drive-through cups they haven't cleaned yet, but I'd much rather date that person than someone who throws it all out the window.

For me its probably someone who uses tiktok.

During my last relationship my ex started using tiktok and for the few weeks she used it i had to listen to the dumbest "facts" as well as borderline malicious relationship and life advice. The bad misinformation is nothing compared to the repetitive nature of the music. She stopped using it on her own accord I didn't force anything.

I still live with someone who is a heavy tik tok user and almost every time she says "i saw this tiktok.. " I know I'm about to hear some dumb bullshit.

The app manipulates people, wastes their time and is full of undeclared product advertising. For my sanity I cannot date someone who thinks it's OK to use that app.

Cigarettes

I just can’t do it. They’re trashy and they smell terrible. Almost universally friends/partners I’ve had the smoke cigarettes ash wherever they want- like my patio or door step. I had an ex that would chain smoke, ash in front of the door, then put the cigarette out and leave it on the steps.

So now everyone that walks by sees our entryway covered in ash, cigarette butts, and burn marks. Just looks and smells like shit.

That same partner kept an ash tray in the patio. It filled up with water when it rained, and she just… left it. So now the patio smells like soppy wet shit too.

Ever since then cigs are a deal breaker for me. If you don’t respect your body how can you ever respect your environment or relationship?

Anyway.

Smoking.

Uses spaces instead of tabs.

I couldn't date a cop

Uses tabs instead of spaces.

Treats servers badly. Both in restaurants and in IT infrastructure.

Celebrity/billionaire worship. Just no. It means their values are wildly erratic.

Mixes spaces and tabs in the same line

I have an ex with the same name as one of my sisters. You do that once, and it gets confusing and awkward. Twice? People start coming to really odd conclusions.

If they smoke

Driving slow in the left hand lane

Misuse of the oxford comma and bad speling.

Incapacity to discuss random topics just for the fun of it. Taking herself too seriously.

Horniness mismatch. You'll never synch up exactly, but if you aren't at least in the same ballpark, everyone just comes away frustrated.

She said "lol"

Like actually said "lol". As if it was a word.

Didn't laugh. Like, she replaced her laughing with this, saying "lol" when she found something funny.

My home theater. I love movies and if someone said I couldn’t have it hooked up to the main TV I’d walk. I’d rather date someone who either enjoys it or at least it’s neutral on having there.

Also I don’t care if they have a garden. But it will be classified as a hobby, not as yard work or house work when they work in it. Because I’ll never work in one.

Picky eater or stuck on music from their youth.

Someone else mentioned libido mismatch, I don't consider that trivial.

Pointy shoes with high heels.

They destroy your feet, make walking long distances impossible and show me she values unhealthy beauty standards over her own body.

Also, shaved and re-drawn eyebrows, for similar reasons.

Incompatible taste in music. My taste is the benchmark they have to meet and I will not compromise, obviously.

At least to the people around me, frequent substance us.

Insisting on having sex with me.

No passions or hobbies.

No, traveling isn't a hobby.