this post was submitted on 07 May 2024
811 points (97.6% liked)

Greentext

4342 readers
1368 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
all 23 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 117 points 6 months ago (2 children)
  • run a speed test on my quantum computer so I know how fast it's running

  • it vanishes without a trace

[–] [email protected] 18 points 6 months ago

Damn, that one's running fast!

It is currently all the way in Australia by now.

[–] [email protected] 57 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Next time, just assume the CPU is both upgraded and not upgraded at the same time.

[–] [email protected] 51 points 6 months ago (2 children)

QPU*

well it was a QPU before being observed

[–] [email protected] 20 points 6 months ago

Yeah, now its a BPU.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago

QPU is a legit name for Quad Processing Unit, which is used as shaders in Broadcom's Videocore line of products.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Well, your quantum twin observed the opposite. Be glad for him.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago (1 children)

in an alternative universe

[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Wait does that mean we have multiversal networking?

... I don't know how this is the first thing that went through my mind, but i bet there is a self-datintg app already. You can bonk me now.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

You'd like that, won't you?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

Not me, but maybe "me" actually does idk

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

Quantum dating. A very quick and uncertain date.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

He observed the UPC?

[–] [email protected] 21 points 6 months ago

This would only happen if you tried to delid the quantum CPU. So, not only is it bricked, but you also voided the warranty!

[–] [email protected] 18 points 6 months ago

The trick is to not observe it but to simply glance over it as if you didn't give a f*ck about it and pretend like your simply trying to avoid walking into it. Look right at it and you may hurt it's feelings causing it to brick itself

THIS DOCUMENT IS NOT A COMPLETE GUIDE TO HANDLING A QUANTUM COMPUTER. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY HARM THAT YOU MAY CAUSE TO YOURSELF OR THE SPACE TIME AROUND. QUANTUM COMPUTERS ARE DANGEROUS AND HURTING THERE FEELINGS MAY CAUSE IMMEDIATE DESTRUCTION OF THE SPACETIME AROUND THEM.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Pls don't shoot me with your electron gun eyes sir.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

That'll be bout treefiddy, and if you change your mind and decide you do want the electron gun eyeball treatment.....another treefiddy

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago (2 children)

I've never understood what counts as 'observing' in this context... Just looking at the thing, perhaps with some kind of microscope/tool? Does it have to be a person who observes it? How about a dog? Or a paramecium?

I think I'm missing some important piece to this.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

It's any interaction that counts. That could be with your eye, but it's usually with any other particle that needs to know the position of another. That could be part of a measuring device, or anything else. If information is needed to "do physics" with it then the waveform collapses so the interaction can be performed.

It has absolutely nothing to do with consciousness.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I might be talking out of my ass a bit, but if I remember it correctly the "observer" part was about it being impossible to measure velocity and observe a location of a thing (electron, photon etc. I think) at the same point in time. I don't think it actually had an effect on the particle, i remember there were some bad experiments where the measurement influenced the the thing because the measurement itself like taking a photo or whatever they did was enough to disturb... stuff.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago

It's because in order to measure it you need to see it. If you can see it then light is bouncing off it it and these particles are so small that the energy of a photon bouncing off of it will move it.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

You crashed the wave function you fool!