Asklemmy

I have a couple from the a warehouse job I worked at when I was 16. That place was wild lmao

• Fired from unplugging security cameras to charge his phone
• 30yo man harassing a 17yo girl
• That man's wife fighting the 17yo girl for "flirting" with her husband even though she wasn't
• Got on top of some shelves and took a nap. These shelves are really tall and you need a lift to get on top of them

These weren't on their first day, but I thought they are worth mentioning

• Racing during lunch in the parking lot
• 10+ person brawl in the parking lot over a guy stealing another guy's girlfriend
• A guy left his keys in his car so another guy just broke the window. He said he thought it was funny and that he got the bit from a movie, tv, or comedian or something
• A couple people got caught taking lunch on top of the shelves in a corner because the lunchroom was too loud. They also had a bed up there made up bubble wrap and yoga mats
• Going full speed into a door with a forklift while the forks were fully lifted
• Doing BMX tricks off the truck dock. I think people were riding skateboards off it too but I can't remember 100%

That's all the entertaining ones I can think of right now lol

I hired a woman once to work in the retail store I was managing at the time. After lunch, I noticed one of my long time employees crying in the break room. She had lost her wallet and whoever took it had wiped out her bank account at the Walmart next door. I called the manager over there and he pulled up the video and low and behold it was the new lady over there buying up gift cards. We called the police and after verifying what happened, they asked me if I wanted them to handle it quietly or to make a scene. I chose make a scene and they went into the backroom handcuffed her, told her why she was being arrested in front of everyone and marched her out. Needless to say HR agreed it should be an immediate termination.

Not exactly on topic but in the spirit of this post have a funny story. Hired a young lady recently entering the work force. She had been working about a week when we did our payroll run. This entailed printing out all the checks with pay details etc. Is done in an administrative office that is obviously kind of private. Not some place you would wake in without permission. Anyhow we started the payroll print and my manager stepped out briefly to get a coffee. When she came back this new employee was flipping thru everyone's pay check. Of course my manager immediately asks what she is doing to which she responds 'oh I'm just wondering what everyone is being paid'.

She honestly thought it was just fine to not only start flipping thru paperwork in the managers office but to also look over employee payroll checks. She simply had no idea and just stated what she was doing like it was just fine. Actually that was her saving grace. While we made it quite clear how inappropriate it was, being it was her first job, we chalked that down to immaturity and didn't let her go on the spot. Had she been older that likely would have been her last day.

Mind you she only last a week longer for a myriad of other reasons. Little common sense.

Worked security at a factory that made kitchen appliances. It wasn't his first day, but it was his first shift by himself.

There's a gate at the front that you lock when you go on rounds.

Dude chooses to go on a round 5 minutes before shift change for the factory workers. He gets a call on company cell that folks are at the gate. Instead of coming back, he tells them to wait 20 minutes so he can finish his round.

20 minutes where they won't be getting paid.

Second in command big boss of the factory is out there checking IDs and directing traffic when dude gets back from his round. Now this dude is nice. Genuinely one of the nicest people you'll ever meet. Old union rep, shirt off his back type. Tells guard not to worry about it, all's good. Just time his rounds better next time.

Guard starts screaming at him about how he had no right to undo the lock, to get out of here, he'll handle them, and if he wants to make them wait that's his right. Boss man tells him to chill out, he won't get in trouble, just go do his log and then he can take over checking IDs.

Guard pulls out, in one hand, a mag light flashlight he was told not to have, and in the other chemical spray that's illegal for a guard to carry without certs (which he didn't have), and this is an unarmed site. Threatens to ""arrest"" him. When boss pulls out his cell to call the guard company, the guard sprayed him and knocked his cell onto the ground, and kicked it across the parking lot, breaking it.

Needless to say, he was fired. Boss didn't press assault charges, but we nearly lost the contract.

Was a contractor for Walmart.

Got hired on as a lead dev, getting compensated 150k/yr.

2nd day, they told me I needed to switch contracts in order to stay on. New contract paid 50k salary.. with lots of required OT.

But, it's OK they said, you get benefits and PTO.

Fuck that.

My wife had a guy start at her company the same day she did, but he got fired that same day because for reasons no one understands he decided it would be wise to make his Teams (or whatever they used. Slack? I can't remember) profile picture a meme that said "Epstein didn't kill himself" or something to that effect.

It was a six figure software engineering job, too. I cannot imagine losing a job like that for such a silly, self-inflicted reason.

Was hired at a company as a designer. Went to the production meeting and sat down beside another designer (introduced myself and we started chatting). In comes everyone else and sits down. We all start chatting and do introductions.

Five minutes into the meeting the company owner comes in, chatting with a salesman. He glances around the room, then his face freezes on me - he then looks at the guy beside me and keeps looking back and forth. He finally motions for me to come outside the conference room. I walk out and he asks me what I was doing there. I tell him ‘remember, you hired me and my start day was today??’

He turned pale and just said ‘oh yeah I forgot’. He let me go back in the room but then I heard him call the guy beside me out.

The guy never came back. Apparently he had intended on firing him and forgot.

Needless to say I didn’t stay long before I found another job. The place was complete chaos.