this post was submitted on 28 Apr 2024
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No Stupid Questions

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Found here, where the image also has the text as an ALT image description. https://chaos.social/@saxnot/112349120606446433

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[–] [email protected] 127 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (2 children)

If this text doesn't get replicated on the internet forever, it's a failure of a meme.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Do we consider the text to be the words on the screen or the ideas within the text itself? As a kind of reaction to a current state of affairs, I wouldn't be surprised if the core idea of this text is thought up by someone every couple days at least, if only in passing. As long as the conditions which brought this meme about in the first place are sustained, it basically can't die. I'd say, in that sense, this meme could only be considered successful if it doesn't get replicated forever, it could only be successful if it dies.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago

What a bloody great comment.

And yes, what matters is the discourse (the ideas within the text), not the utterance used to convey said discourse (the words on the screen).

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

Classically, the meme would be the semantic content in this context or a derivative one (unless we consider this text itself to be derivative). It might re-emerge periodically, but some degree of contextual integrity would be necessary for it to be considered the same meme.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Don't worry, we're never gonna give it up.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

Trust me. We're never gonna let you down.

[–] [email protected] 86 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (3 children)

The main thesis here is good, but that's a mischaracterization of what people consider "failed" writers.

Someone who wrote one novel and had it published is not considered a failed writer, no matter if they then stop writing immediately. "Failed writer" is pretty much reserved for people who tried writing and couldn't get anyone interested enough in it to publish it.

I'm not sure what labels would be applied to someone who exclusively pursued self-publishing, but that's not really the common way.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Salinger is a classic example of this. One of the most celebrated authors of all time. He really only wrote one full novel and then essentially disappeared from public view. Despite this I don't think anyone would consider him a failed writer by any definition

[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago

That's who I was thinking of when I wrote this!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago

I think a better, but still not perfect, way to define it would be "This person wants to do X, but can't support him/her/itself doing it."

Of course, if you are already rich it doesn't matter and then it is a bad metric (one of the reasons it isn't perfect.) However, I think it is a better way to define it. Someone writing a few books as a hobby and then stops are not a failed writer, but someone that wants to be a writer but just can't support it is.

Basically I think the intent matters, but that is impossible to measure (and people lie about it). So being able to do it as a profession is an ok metric.

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[–] [email protected] 78 points 7 months ago (4 children)

If you close a business without going bankrupt, that is not failure.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Sounds like a crazy idea to me. Next you'll be saying, end a TV show before the ratings have plummeted to zero.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Best to end it while you are still "Master of your Domain".

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

> climb the ranks of the navy
> become "Admiral and Master of the Fourth Sea"
> end it with a splash, a crack, a gurgle, and a "Captain goes down with his ship!"

...

> BBC pulls in a new actor for your role and carries on two seasons more before abruptly stopping and still doesn't resolve your storyline.

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[–] [email protected] 59 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Curated tumblr, microblog memes, Lemmy being wholesome, 196, lots of places it could fit and be appreciated.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago

Literally until the moment I read your comment, I thought that community was “microbiology memes”

Not on topic, but wow.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago

And if all else fails: [email protected]

[–] [email protected] 46 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

Very interesting sentiments, very agreeable, but if this were one of my patients I would be quick to redirect the conversation away from "society is wrong" into "You're realizing that you believe this is your path". Generalizations like that do us no good. If it's about YOU, then make it about YOU. If someone is dismissing YOU based on this stuff, talk about how that person's words affect YOU.

I bet $100 that this person recently had a conversation with someone where this kind of language was used. Or, maybe more likely, they saw some random irrelevant bullshit on the internet from a stranger and extrapolated messages about an entire culture from it. The culture is YOU TOO, buddy!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago

A fair point. However, reading the OP back, it seems to me that they aren't dismissing "forever" as success. They are only stating that its not the only acceptable definition of it.

The way i see it, some things that require never-ending commitment to be deemed a success and others don't, but that's not how society sees it in general.

I think messages like the one in the post are a good thing to read and think about how they apply to your own life.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (4 children)

This is oddly worded and has some strange conceptions.

If you open a coffee shop and can't handle the stress and can't manage to afford to operate it... then you have failed. If you open a coffee shop and run it well for a few years and decide to sell your functioning business or largely step down from active management with new leadership... then you successfully ran a coffeeshop and did not fail at it.

If you marry someone and divorce them, and its anything but a mutually agreed, low to no drama, no fault divorce, then yes the relationship and marriage failed.

Now the book/author example is worded much more sensibly. If you write books for a few years, and can support yourself from this or hell even if you really enjoyed it, and then you move onto something else, I don't think anyone would consider you a failed author. You did the thing, got some works published, excellent, you are a successful author!

A friendship that doesn't last... in most cases, is kind of objectively less of a friendship than one that lasts for a long time. It can still have been a real friendship, but it obviously was not important enough for one or both people to continue it if they ... did not continue it.

People going through hobbies as phases is linguistically literally correct, as many people do this. I do agree though that phrasing this derogatorily as if there is somehow anything wrong with changing hobbies overtime is somehow bad or indicates anything negative, unless youre doing that extremely overenthusiastically and/or fiscally or physically dangerously.

Fandoms do ebb and flow. They rise and fall in popularity and enthusiasm. I again do not really see how this is somehow indicative of a culture that prizes only permanent things.

Perhaps by now its obvious I am autistic but... it doesnt make any sense to praise or criticize a fandom by its popularity alone. Praise or criticize it by the kind of community it fosters, the in jokes, the style, the lasting marka its made on other things, the quality or appeal of its content.

I mean I agree with the ending of this, that temporary things can still have been good, but... yeah a good bit of this person's examples seem to me to be not well thought out.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 7 months ago (3 children)

I disagree with your sentiment, and think the examples work. If your aim was to run a coffee shop forever and you quit, then yes you have failed. If, on the other hand, your aim is to enjoy and have the experience of running a coffee shop, then doing so for two years and stopping is a success. Similarly with a relationship. You can have succeeded in having a mutually fulfilling relationship that you both have happy memories from, even if you then grow apart. It succeeded in its aims of spending time enjoying being a relationship.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago (1 children)

The original image specifically mentions quitting running the coffeeshop because they can't handle the stress and cannot afford supplies. That is failing at operating a business.

And as I said about relationships, yes, you can have a good relationship that ended on good terms, but a marriage that does not end mutually and amicably (most that end, end badly) is objectively a failure. Perhaps this is old fashioned of me, but I am reasonably certain that in nearly all cases a wedding marries two people for the rest of their lives at least in aspiration, so divorce represents a failure of that mutual aspiration. It is significantly less of a failure if two married people separate on amicable terms, but it still literally is a failure of the concept of marriage.

A friendship that does not persist is objectively not as good or successful or important as one that does, barring exceptional situations where two people wished they could remain in contact but have no actual means to do so.

I feel as if I am repeating myself, though I do not mean to be an ass. To me this is simply what these words mean.

So I guess, respectfully, I disagree with your disagreement haha.

Yeah you can run a coffee shop and stop doing so without failing, but the way the person described quitting running the shop was failure.

Likewise yes you can absolutely enjoy a temporary relationship, nearly all relationships are temporary (not until death), but a marriage that ends is literally a failed marriage, and a friendship that ends or fizzles out just is less of a friendship than one that persists for a very long time.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago

I feel like you're completely missing the point of the post?

The post is a critique of how we as a culture generally these things as failures when we don't have to. You insisting these examples are failures is not constructive, nor does it disprove OPs point, as the entire post is about how they are seen as failures.

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 7 months ago (11 children)

When you’re marrying someone you’re usually not like “lets try this and see where it goes” (that’s called dating), you’re more like “till death do us part” so yes, divorce is failure more often than not. Ending a relationship, not so much

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 7 months ago (4 children)

I think this is looking at it backwards. I think we shouldn't view failure as a bad thing. Failure is learning. It's part of growing. You fail at something, you've learned something (well, hopefully). Often you learn more by failing than by succeeding.

Like coaching my kid's soccer team today: I want them to fail sometimes. I have a player doing well with his right foot and scores a couple of goals, I switch him to the other side and tell him to use his left foot "But I'm not good at it!" good. "I'm not good at goalie." Excellent, here's the goalie jersey and go get in there. That's the point, I'm trying to make them better soccer players. If we just played into their strengths all the time, it would limit how much of a better player they can become.

At work, as a programmer, I try something out. It doesn't work out because there was some unforeseen condition that causes my initial pattern to fail? No big deal, just redo the pattern from scratch (if, of course, there is the time for that) or rethink the pattern. And I've seen how often that solves some other problem, or makes another thing more efficient, or makes future development more easy.

So who cares if your coffee shop failed, or you're a "failed writer" (I've never heard that before), if we don't treat failure as a bad thing, then people will be more likely to accept that and learn from it.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago

I think you're right about embracing failure, but I think this is different: is your kid's soccer team a failure if they don't play forever? Or is it a success that they play some games, maybe win once or twice, even just learn and have fun?

Some things in life we seem to label failures if they stop after a season, as if long-term stability were the only true goal.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago

Not the same philosophy, but also a very useful one. Would go hand in hand with OP

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

This is a very important point to make.

I made my own post about problems I have with what was posted, but an angle that I would love if more people adopted would be to stop viewing failure as inherently negative and useless in nearly all cases.

Failure can teach you a lot if you are capable of reflection and analysis, and failure happens to everyone, all the time, and is totally normal.

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 7 months ago

Disregarding the question but commenting on the material, I don't think this is generally true. In labeling something as forever upfront (e.g., marriage, which generally includes a "forever clause"), it's only natural though.

Contrast marriage with a "summer fling"


the expectation is a duration of at most one summer. Not really considered a failure (which is kinda the plot of Grease, dated though that may be...)

There was a great restaurant near me (Michelin star), and it closed a while back


the owner was upfront that he just had a kid and wanted to spend more time together. I don't think anyone views that as a failure. A loss for the community, definitely, but not a failure.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 7 months ago (3 children)

I can think of two fairly active potential homes for that content: Showerthoughts, which is for random trains of thought that you think others might relate to. Lemmy Be Wholesome is for content that you feel elevates people's moods, is supportive, shares good vibes and so on.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago

Maybe the random community would be appropriate too

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

I can think of two fairly active potential homes for that content: Showerthoughts, which is for random trains of thought that you think others might relate to. Lemmy Be Wholesome is for content that you feel elevates people’s moods, is supportive, shares good vibes and so on.

Nice, thank you.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 7 months ago (2 children)

It fits very well for [email protected] so I cross posted it there

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I only see 3 posts in that community. Is it just me?

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago

Nice community

[–] [email protected] 17 points 7 months ago (4 children)

Yeah, with that logic, life is no good because it ends.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

I just created [email protected] in case you wanna just post the text instead of picture, because I'm perhaps irrationally annoyed by pictures of text.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 7 months ago

The best way to get out of a business is generally to sell it though, so someone else keeps running it. Although shutting down a business for personal reasons isn't generally considered a failure.

As for being an author, you only need one book to be a commercial success in order to be a "successful" author.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Normally I'd expect to see this stuff on [email protected]

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

A flower is only a flower because it falls.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

Accepting death isn't surrender.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Really depends on what your goals were to begin with. Most people don't open a business or get married expecting for them to end. In that regard, they are failures.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

That's what the post is trying to highlight, that people don't allow themselves to view something retroactively as the good it had, only the negative, as if the end failure is all they got out of it.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago

Success or failure depends on the goal. Perhaps outside observers can see something as a failure or success, but that doesn't matter since you set the goals. As for which Lemmy community to post this to, I dunno.

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