this post was submitted on 17 Oct 2023
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Science Fiction

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Lemmy World Rules

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I'm tired of all these Ahsooka and Han Solo spinoffs. For once I want Disney to give me the story of Steve, the padawan no jedi wanted to train! (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
41 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

Steve: turns on lightsaber

Steve: Hm...what does the green plasma taste like?

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 year ago (2 children)

After Mando and the MCU, I thought they'd go in the direction where you create different genres set in the Sta Wars universe, instead every genre is a Saturday morning cartoon.

Mandolorian - Western with a villain of the season and the wanderer goes to a new planet/sector

Andor - Gritty spy/war drama

Police Procedural - A Jedi solves crimes in local town while in hiding

Book of Boba Fett -mob crime show like breaking bad, sopranos

Rom Com - An ex storm trooper and a rebel fall in love

Sitcom - the office but set in a moisture farm

Heist - like Leverage with a bunch of criminals

Horror - A powerful Sith is hunting Jedi

Obi Wan - Slice of life, Ben the hermit does gardening and chores for the townsfolk, tries to fend off attraction for the local blue milk maids, sharpens his mind into razor sharp focus instead of swinging a baseball bat around. Uses wit and logic to solves problems

Shonen - basically the games but better

War - band of brothers but with rebels

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (3 children)

It's cause the people that fund movies and games have absolutely no imagination. So to get something funded, you have to sell it as: Think of it as "Friends, but set in the star wars universe"

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago

It think it has a lot more to do with how risky it’s seen- the budgets for these films and shows are huge.

Further they’re dinosaurs who still see sci-fi as “not popular” and “risky”- but a lot of that actually has to do with idiots doing broadcasting stupidity.

(Like airing Babylon 5 opposite St:DS9 in a time when DVRs didn’t exist, or mucking with the episode order of firefly, so everyone was extremely confused about who and what was going on in the first few episodes,)

Couple that with needing to include merchandising opportunities (baby yoda, for example,) and generally satisfying corpos that it’s going to turn bigger profits than, say, uh… whatever is currently streaming….

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Pitch meeting nails how producers green lights movies and tv shows.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Wow.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm going to need you to get all the way off of my back about that.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Getting off on backs is tight.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Most the shows he listed he’s giving examples of existing shows. And actually, his Police Procedural sounds exactly like the Peacock-Original “Poker Face”, except without Jedi…lead character (Natasha Lyone) is essentially a human lie detector. Great easy-watching bingable crime-comedy, IMO.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I want the Great Chandrillan Baking Show.

It's Shistivanen Week and Plintth is in his element!

""Oh, it's going to be meat pies! Savoury meat pies, sweet meat pies! Blood pies! This is my comfort zone!""

Meanwhile Kwen needs to wow the judges, after her Kakooloo nut disaster last week.

""Oh no! It's going to be meat pies! What do I do? This is terrible!""

There's drama...

""Bakers, you have fifteen minutes remaining!""

Tragedy...

""Oh no, oh no, oh no! This looks a mess!""

And Triumph...

""This is, without a doubt, the best Frischenaak, I have ever tasted!""

Under the kitchen dome, today on the Great Chandrillan Baking Show.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

That was great. Perfection.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Missed opportunity for "fifteen parsecs", if only to poke the pedants to reply, frothing: "that's not a measure of time!" 🤪🤣

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

It's a cooking measurement on a technical challenge.

"Three parsecs of krumm flour? Three parsecs? Is that even a baking measurement? Bloody dark side! Are they mad?"

"Meanwhile, Kel Turon's expertise in Corellian cuisine is paying off and he has it figured out..."

"Three parsecs of krumm flour. Haha. Well done Polhol'eewood. See, I happen to know that on Corellia a parsec is more than just a spacial measurement... They use parsecs to measure... well, almost everything."

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I like this one, Mom. Can we keep him?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I'm tired of all these big tent "franchises" entirely.

Hey, filmmakers, authors, television producers, etc.: MAKE SOMETHING NEW FFS!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Star Wars has been fertile ground for writers for decades, though. For every movie or TV show there are half a dozen books. Hard to say no to that.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Easy for me to say "no", though, which is what I did ages ago. Maybe someday the public will get as bored as I got with seeing the same thing over and over again and will kill this franchise nonsense.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

What's really the most annoying though, is listening to whiny "critics", like yourself, cry about how popular they are all the fucking time.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (2 children)

The Creator is an original screenplay and is new

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

And it's fucking incredible! 😱🤩🤘🏼

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I actually have not seen it yet, but every comment and review about the movie I've read has been as exuberant as yours.

I finally have the time today and will be seeing it in about 3 hours. I'm pretty excited.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Don't listen to/read any discussion on it beforehand. Enjoy it on the biggest screen you can find, and hopefully in a quiet theater. I've seen it three times in my local cinema and it only came out last week. 🤣

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Got a link?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Now that one does look interesting. I'll have to wait for it to show up on my usual sites though: it's not the kind of movie that will wind up in theatres here.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That's for indie developers, so that big companies can rip them off later.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Except that the age of the mid-budget, self-contained movie is dead. Indies are getting squeezed by this Big Tent nonsense BADLY.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

A24 is the latest casualty...

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

According to ahem Legends this was Obi-Wan. They sent Obi-Wan to a farming planet and was essentially booted out because no master would take him. From the book, Star Wars Jedi Apprentice: The Rising Force.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Like the MCU, I'm just tired of star wars.

I never want to hear about the universe again.

let's move on and create some new interesting worlds.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

I tend to agree. There are so many great sci-fi and fantasy universes waiting to be adapted. Just give me a Mistborn or The Final Architecture TV series.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

A Mistborn show would be freaking awesome!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

I've always wanted to see some movies/television based on Niven's "Known Space" universe, and not just because I want to see a Pierson's Puppeteer. There are interesting worlds, one with high gravity that has land poking above it's atmosphere, one Venus-type planet with a single high region that's habitable, a desert planet that has its axis 90° to the ecliptic, causing high winds half the year, a system of five worlds orbiting around each other, one of which has no sun and a trillion inhabitants...

But no, let's go to fucking Tattoine again.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yoda: "The force is, not strong in that one, but owed his father a favor did I"

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Autistic he is, special helmet he has. Mhhhhmph?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

It’s tastes like mint toothpaste.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

This is kind of the beginning of Zayne Carrick's story, tbh - from the Knights of the Old Republic comics - and I'm surprised they haven't done anything with that one yet. I'd probably watch it, too, even though we're living through a time of Endless Trash.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Maybe Disney will buy the Monty Python IP and remake "The Life of Brian" in the Star Wars universe.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

He's not the Chosen One, he's a very naughty boy!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Where are those force welding kids in Last Jedi.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

same place as the rest of all the interesting characters that had less than a minute of screen time but were essential somehow to the plot: fucking nowhere