An oldie, but a goodie
this post was submitted on 07 Dec 2023
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If someone whom I respected shat a bit in email about my work product, I'd be sad for a bit. Then I'd read it again and understand it's my work product and I am not my work. I can make mistakes and I can fix them, and fixing mistakes is how we get awesome.
I have received negative feedback. And I did feel just a little butthurt about it. But it was in NJ and I was new, and didn't see from the first read that Buddy was expressing frank and honest concerns about my work product and not me. I'm embarrassed to say how long it took me to clue in, but I did. And we worked through my mistakes and I was the better for it. And I learned.
And when he said my work didn't suck as much, I knew I was improving, because I could trust him.
You need to learn honest from asshole.
I get what you mean, but there are ways to say you fucked up, without calling you expletives. Some days, you get angry and scream at someone, but it doesn't really make it feel amazing for the party being screamed at.
I didn't mean it was mean from him to give him feedback or correct him, but the way he said it was a bit overblown.
As already stated it's less about the facts being communicated and more about the way they're being communicated.
I would posit that the mismatch in the style of communication lead to you needing more time to clue in. And in that way, the initial feedback might have been an inefficient way to relay the point.
However it's also entirely possible that trying to package it in a better way, the point of the feedback-giver would have gotten lost, leading you not to clue in at all.
Communication is hard, especially tailoring it to the expected audience. That being said I don't think being an asshole is ever ok, unless it directly saves lives or something. 😅