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Correct me if I'm wrong, but before he drowns he has no such compulsions to kill Melisandre even as the battle is going to shit and he witnesses the death of his sons. He knows this would be treasonous, and Davos would not commit treason. It's only after the drowning that this compulsion arrives.
I would update my theory a bit here and word it better. I instead posit the severity of personality change has to do with how strong of a identity/ego the person had before drowning. Similar to how hard it is to warg a human vs. a Hodor (because Hodor has been "emptied out" of ego/identity). Patchface was a child who was raised as a slave, hence why he was totally wiped and made full Deep Ones thrall. Aeron was 16 and still a youth, but a bit more developed in his identity as a Greyjoy. He also had a surrounding culture of Deep Ones worship to calibrate himself to, a context in which his hallucinations and delusions made sense and in fact were revered by others. Patchface is mocked and seen as crazy, Aeron is seen as prophetic and wise because of where he is.
Davos is middle aged, very comfortable with his identity, very secure in his family and loyalties. He is probably the hardest type of man to manipulate in this way until he goes through destabilizing grief.
I don't think the Deep Ones "Mind Control" directly per se, they seem to instead implant images and visions and manipulate people in the same way that say, Rh'llor manipulates Melisandre or the Three Eyed Raven manipulates Bran. The drowning just creates the psychic link that allows the transfer of these images. Hence why Aeron is still a raging misogynist, an overcompensation for his past womenizing (he probably see's his past self as pathetic) - plus yes the Deep Ones seem to be misogynistic as well in that they seem to mainly demand female sacrifices. All of the Deep One Cults that arise around the world are also misogynistic, such as Ironborn Culture and the culture of the Thousand Islands. These are sexual assault monsters after all. This honestly could be GRRM making a meta-nod towards Lovecraft being racist/sexist, since these are Lovecraftian creatures.
Plus let's be real, Ironborn Culture is insanely misogynist as a foundation that Aeron started with. They have thralls and salt wives, they dress up as squids and raid greenlanders and steal their women. They roleplay being Merlings and enact the horror that was inflicted onto them onto everyone else.