this post was submitted on 24 May 2025
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Asklemmy
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I'm late to the party, but I don't think there is anything wrong with asking someone to talk a bit about their self in an attempt to get to know them better. The context is very important however. If you and this person have been talking one on one for a bit already, maybe something like "I have enjoyed talking to you, can I ask you to tell me a bit about yourself so I can get to know you better?" Is an appropriate way to go about it. I'm not sure if the person you are talking about is someone you met in real life or on the internet.
As far as the internet goes, a/s/l was a very popular question to ask 20 years ago in chat rooms but probably wouldn't go as well on modern social media. For that reason I don't think straight up asking "can you describe yourself in a paragraph" would work very well either. Most people dont seem to use social media as a way to get to know the other users on a personal level. It almost feels like it's against the point of 'social' media, but most interactions I've seen between users are brief and users go on their way after a few posts. Especially sites like Lemmy where we don't provide personal information. On the other hand, Lemmy is very small and if you find someone with a shared interest in a niche community, i think its ok to reach out, but maybe try to just keep the conversation on that topic.
If you're talking to someone in real life maybe try the previous suggestion. Or skip it all together and invite them to hang out somewhere. No better way to learn about a person than by spending time with them. And by doing that, there is less of a chance of making them uncomfortable by talking about their self.
Nah, your fashionable coming to the party 🙂
Right! Agreed, context is important. I think this particular question won’t be used, at least not the way I originally thought it would. My “idea” was to get away from the back and forth of questioning.
As an example… you ask someone if they consider themselves an introvert. They answer and they “how about you?”. I originally thought maybe they would be able to just tell things about themselves and I could ask follow up questions. All without it being back and forth.
Having said that, I do realize that is as much my ability to make things interesting in the conversation as well.
Yeah, I remember the a/s/l days. I’m glad those are gone haha. Yes, social media in the current context is terrible for true social interactions. I don’t think that’s the point of it anymore though, well corporate social media anyway.
For context we met IRL, but there’s some distance between us so hanging out is challenging. Your point is valid about not making them uncomfortable. That’s my ultimate goal and your (and others) opinion have been a great help!!
Thank you so much!