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Are infidelities really that common? (lemm.ee)

submitted 2 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Hello. So last week I went to a school reunion for the 20th anniversary of my hometown school. I'm not the kind of person who enjoy this kind of social events, but for this time I made an exception. My old friend from that time asked me to go and I thought I would be funny (spoiler alert: it wasn't funny). After the event and speeches, all my classmates and I went to a restaurant. I sat in front of a girl that I had a bit of a crush on when I was a kid. During the dinner I was mostly in silence, they were talking about gossips, old memories, relationships, comparisons... At some point she talked about a boyfriend she had. She said that she cheated on him like 10 or 20 times, she didn't know the exact number. The thing is... She was laughing about it, and so the others. "I told him I cheated on him, I don't know how many times.." She said, like nothing happened. My ex girlfriend told me that she also cheated on his fiancée some time before the wedding. She always said that infidelities are always there, like it is normal... But is it? I've been thinking about it for some time now, because I know some other cases. But I don't understand... There is no sense of morality ot loyalty or empathy?

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago (2 children)

If you don't want to be monogamous, don't, just be polyamorous and date other polyamorous people. It's a really bad excuse for cheating when there's plenty of relationship arrangements where this isn't a problem. There's no need to deceive unwilling people and cheat on them when you can find partners who think the same as you and you don't need to cheat on in the first place. You're still dealing with other people with feelings on the end.

I'd have to really go out of my way to cheat on my wife when the only rule is to have safe sex (or be safe in general).

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

This. But even in polyamorous relationships there can be cheating, which is simply going against the wishes and rules you set when going into the relationship. While some poly relationships are more open regarding casual or committed sexual relations with other people, some aren't. Cheating in every regard is bad, doesn't matter the relationship type.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 day ago

Wait. I never said it was ok. I was just stating the facts, I’ve never cheated myself and have always been in monogamous relationships.