this post was submitted on 10 May 2025
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"Well Mr. Doe, I'm afraid it's bad news. We found a mass in your chest, it looks like pancreatic cancer."
"Oh no, so what will we do about that? Will I get radiation, or chemo?"
"I'll be prescribing you a set of positively charged aura crystals, just spend some time near them every day, and let them charge under moonlight at night. I've also scheduled you a time with our resident chiropractor, he'll try to realign your chakras. Until then you could also try to stay away from Virgos."
We're all laughing but next up guys sort of shit will be picked up by US pharmaceutical companies who crank up the cost of s good chakra cleansing to the point where nobody can afford them without going bankrupt, then what are we going to do?
Same as with regular medicine, book a flight to India or Mexico.