this post was submitted on 04 Apr 2025
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I'm at my first office job. A lot of people seem to eminate of the same forced positivity I saw during college. I don't want to isolate myself, but I can't see myself making connections.
Start signing your emails with "Kindest regards,"
Everyone knows that such people are not to be trifled with. It's the office job equivalent of killing an inmate in the prison yard on your first day.
Please advise
Kindest regards, Anon
=May well have pushed the CEO off the roof, if you don't fix your shit and now it might happen to you
"Thank you for all you do." Is my go to.
I regularly beef with the kindest regards lady. She's a lazy ass lol
Hey, it beats a "With purpose,"
Biggest pains in the ass in the world.
Just keep telling people that you're swamped. "Aw man I wish I could go but I'm swamped. Thanks for inviting me though!" I've been in my corpo job for two years and have yet to attend any social events, except when catered and then I just sneak in and grab a plate then bail.
Remember that sociable people are over-represented in your data set. The hermits and otherwise isolated types are the ones you are least likely to see around the office even when they are present.