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How do you feel when someone apologises too much? (lemmy.world)

submitted 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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So my girlfriend apologises compulsively. I find it easy to talk to her about the reasons why she may do that; however, she posed to me a question today which I found a little more tricky to answer:

How do I feel when I tell her to stop apologising, and why do I feel the need to tell her to stop apologising?

It's honestly something I never gave thought to before. It is a very, very minor annoyance - to the point where I feel calling it an 'annoyance' is too harsh - but I don't actually know why I feel the need to tell her stop doing it all the time.

I'm hoping someone can help me put it into words. So I ask you, Lemmy: how does it feel when someone apologises too much, and why do you feel the need to tell them to stop apologising?

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

My wife behaves very similarly. Often she apologizes for things that I don’t even register. It’s a difference in how we grew up. I’ve mostly settled on ignoring it now but early on I encouraged her to think about who she’s apologizing for, and if she's doing it for me I encouraged her to stop. Not only do I not need it, most of the time I don’t even notice whatever minor transgression occurred she thinks needs to be apologized for.

Now if she does it the apologies mostly go unnoticed too because it’s not for or about me, and if it’s what she’s comfortable doing then that’s ok.