this post was submitted on 15 Nov 2023
226 points (97.5% liked)
Asklemmy
44148 readers
1627 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy ๐
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- [email protected]: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
Unless all you did was talk about politics, how does it actually affect a relationship (unless they say something actually atrocious)?
In my experience with these types of people, they more and more frequently shift conversation to them wanting their beliefs validated, because normal people have stopped engaging with them.
Can understand now. If everything someone's wants to talk is politics then really is not that fun to be around.
I have a friend who was a classic Catholic libertarian in college--he held some views on trans rights, abortion, and economic justice that I find deeply disagreeable. It made conversations a little tricky because there were a whole set of topics I couldn't bring up unless I wanted to wade into a debate immediately; sometimes I did, but often I just wanted to hang out and chill and that was hampered.
It took him exactly one year of being out of college and working a real job to realize that his economic views were fucked, and the whole rest of it unraveled from there. He's now a staunch leftist, and it's way, way easier to hang out with him.
That's not, however, to say it's not worth having friends you disagree with. We remained friends because we were able to disagree productively, and I feel I understand my own political views far better for all those long nights discussing them. Still, it was a friendship that took unusual effort to maintain.
My BIL is a Catholic Libertarian. Almost forty and still lives with Mom and Dad, so he never had the brush with reality that your friend went through. He thinks he's politically savvy and always wants "civil debate" with me, but he's utterly insufferable.
I'm not looking forward to Thanksgiving next week.