Asklemmy

Wife and I were renting a trailer in a trailer park some years back and one night we were getting intimate. Well, we were just about to get to the good part when all of a sudden our whole room is illuminated by a flood light and we hear someone shouting outside. Begrudgingly I get dressed and look out the window. There's a man with a flashlight looking in windows and banging on doors at my neighbors place yelling a woman's name.

I called the police because it seemed like someone trying to cause trouble. The police informed me that the man was the police and he was serving a warrant for the neighbor.

I couldn't believe how shitty they were being about it, waking up the whole neighborhood. She was a mess though. Another time I was leaving for work in the morning and I hear her tearing into her boyfriend/husband or whatever. She chased him out into the street with a baby in a car seat and left the baby in the road while she chased his car down the road. I sat and waited to make sure she didn't just leave the baby and then went to work. Reported her that time too.

I'm sure I've had worse "fails" but I've been with my wife for ten years now and I don't really hold space in my brain for past relationships