Asklemmy

Well, if you aren't sexually attracted to both men and women, that wouldn't fit the usual criteria of being bi, though those lines and labels can blur a good bit.

I'm not sure why you would self identity as bi if you don't experience that attraction, but that's not really important for moving forward.

However, if, you have experienced a romantic attraction to the same sex, you may be biromantic. It's a thing. People can experience romantic attraction separate from sexual attraction, and those two don't have to match. I know a guy that had a male partner for most of his life, the same partner. But they divorced eventually because the sexual attraction wasn't there.

He'd tried sex with men, and just assumed there was something wrong with him that he didn't like it, despite loving his partner. They tried opening three relationship even before they got married, and then while they were. But it just made it worse for them because both of them wanted to be monogamous, but they couldn't be each other's everything in the relationship.

It wasn't until after they were divorced that they ran across the idea of romantic and sexual attraction being able to be different in the same person.

Now, it worked out well in the long run. They're both happy with their current partners, and the guy I'm talking about has proposed to his girlfriend, and they apparently have plenty of mutually satisfying sex.

Which is just so you're aware, in case you end up in a situation where you find yourself loving a woman, but still not being attracted.

But, yeah, definitely don't publicly label yourself as queer if you aren't, and you know you aren't. Just causes hassles over time. It isn't like you can't engage with and support the queer community without being queer. And you can even be part of the culture and community. That's one of the best thing about LGBTQ+ folks, they almost always treat allies as family, and accept us with open arms. It's a beautiful thing.

In some ways, if you're cis-hetero, you can be of more help as an ally, just by standing up and rejecting bigotry. There used to be a phrase, "straight, not narrow" that was popular to represent the idea. It's fallen out of use, but when you're straight, and you don't put up with bigotry, it matters. You may not change minds, but you can indicate clearly that the bigots can't rely on support like that.