I already knew I was autistic I got diagnosed like 10 years ago as an adult, but I had never taken the test in question (Cat-Q) and I guess I kinda figured my autism was "light" or something. I think the test's questions were very effective at breaking through high masking so that's why I scored so heavily autistic and it kind of struck me so hard it made me cry. Masking is exhausting and at this point I can't really "stop" its so ingrained.

For me I don't think there is anything intrinsically wrong with me but I think some aspects of it fueled some really stifling early life decisions that kept me from growing (before I learned I was autistic) and now I feel like I'm permanently "behind" socially/developmentally. Part of that also I think might have been how subtly conservative and judgemental a lot of culture I absorbed was as a kid that I ended up assuming everyone thought I was a dorky loser so I avoided people I thought were "cool" to a degree. I still feel like I can't relate to people my own age and that's been the case since I was like 8 and its still the case in my 30's. It makes me sad about what I've missed out on and makes me worry about my future.

EDIT: I just retook it, I scored a 149, for context average male non-autistic scores are 96.89, for autistic men the average is 109.64.