I'm an immigrant working in the USA, I came here because of the promise of a better tomorrow, a meritocracy, a seat at the table at big tech, and for a while it felt real but then my company was acquired by a larger entity and it all went to shit, now I'm in a race to show I'm the most competent and dedicated person with the most technological knowledge to keep my job and not get layed off.
If I ask my manager or my director a question or challenge their thought process I get called into a 1 on 1 meeting where I'm told I'm a great asset to the team but me asking questions of them in a team setting sets a bad example, and my questions aren't in bad faith infact in the meeting I was lauded for asking the right questions, but being pulled aside and being asked to kiss the ring felt disgusting.
At one point in my career I cared about what I did and who I worked for I felt pride over my product and my team, and all I feel now is shame to be associated with my company, I feel disgusted with myself that I work not for my customers but for shareholder value.
So I guess my question if any is are there still companies that exist in the USA or outside that still give a fuck about what they're doing and not just inflate that companies value so it can be sold or keep the stock price going up.
I would love to live and work somewhere where my value isn't determined by how much money I van make or how much shareholder value I increase, I wouldn't have to worry about a visa and if I can/will be kicked out if I'm no longer employed.
I could go back home but the work culture there is atrocious it was the reason why I had left, I lasted 5 months and I couldn't take it and put in my 2 weeks to go to the US for a Masters degree in Computer Sciences.
I'm sorry that this turned into more of a rant than anything else but I'm at a point where I don't really know what I want to do anymore, any advice or conversation is appreciated.
I have a couple decades experience as a software engineer and manager. I don’t know if you’re ready to hear my answer, but here it is:
You might be in a bad situation, it’s hard to say with a single data point. There are bad bosses out there and it can be a nightmare, even at a good company. The “easy” fix is to try working on a different team or a different company and see if that solves the issue. Easy is in quotes because, as an immigrant, it may be tough to move to another employer.
The harder answer is to look inside yourself.
Your title asks about non-capitalistic companies. There are non-profits, but I don’t think capitalism is your problem here. You’re still going to run into problems at non-profits or even volunteering in open source if you aren’t able to integrate well with teams.
There are always going to be cultural expectations no matter where you go. The situation you described about having a 1:1 over asking questions suggests you either have an overly sensitive manager or your manager is right and you are not effective with your feedback. Asking questions can open up conversations or be used to bully people you disagree with.
The way you disagree matters. It’s not enough to be right, you need to persuade other people to be right too. As a manager, I’m focused on the team’s output and if one person is causing problems with the group dynamic, I’m going to address it.
I’m hiring right now and have passed on candidates who fall into the “brilliant jerk” stereotype. There’s research that shows that those types drag the rest of the team down. Remember, I’m focused on the entire team, so any one person needs to fit into that context.
If you find that your interpersonal skills need a boost, “How to Win Friends and Influence People” has good advice but it’s hard for some people to accept advice like “let other people be wrong when it doesn’t matter” and “compliment people.”
The other thing I’m reading in your post is that you may be burned out. The classic solutions for that are therapy, rest, exercise, and investing in life outside work. It’s hard to spot burnout sometimes, but check in with your support group.
So that’s 3 options forward: change your situation, improve your skills, or rest up and recover from burnout. Good luck.
Thank you for your comment, I really appreciate you taking the time and your analysis, I'm not sure if its relavant but by th3 end of the 1 on 1 the director apologized to me when they realized that what i had asked actually furthered the conversation and that they were hurt that I would make that statement at the time and in that group as they felt I was just digging up old corpses, when they were explained my thought process and what I meant and what I asked and that the point of that statement was to ensure we dont fall into the same pitfalls again, I was calm and kind in the meeting. I do agree I think i have been burned out for a bit and this whole situation felt bad, and I do agree that this is an industry/employement thing that I can't really escape from.
And the other thing is I dont want to have to influence people to do my job, I dont want to have to walk on eggshells if i need to get someyhig done I'm an engineer my job is to give you the logic and the solution, they are th3 managers/directors and they need to facilitate my job, not tell me that me asking about our environment strategy and avoiding teams in silos is something they should feel offended by.
This is some of the best advice I've ever read on lemmy. Thank you!