this post was submitted on 09 Feb 2025
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I got banned from blahaj on my first week here, because I think "dude" isn't necessarily a gendered term, and was willing to stand my ground on it. Mind you none of this was actually said on a blahaj thread, they just went out of their way.
There are people on blahaj who will throw a fit if you use gender neutral terms in public without knowing what pronouns a person uses, so I wouldn't let it bother you.
A wise man of our time once declared, "I'm a dude, he's a dude, she's a dude, we're all dudes hey"
oh a wise man said that huh how surprising!
You can't say that, bro.
All my friends must hate me, they're all dudes in my eyes
It may not be a gendered term for you, but it is for some. Standing your ground means being asked to stop by people who found it offensive, likely by feeling misgendered. I'm not surprised you were banned when you go to what's meant to be a safe space and misgender people despite being asked to stop.
That's kind of the point of federation, though. They can have their space with their rules of moderation and language. Someone else can have a more open experience. Those that want a more complete experience but push their values on other instances will be banned from those instances. Blahaj has great content, but it's often niche, and can be a little too moderated sometimes, but better to err on side of caution when many of the community have less ptions for where they jump to.
They just said they didn't say it on Blahaj.
Yes, my interpretation of what they said was that it wasn't a meta posts, but I agree, it was likely on a different instance. However, I also asked for clarityabout what was said and the user hasn't clarified. I couldn't find the comments they were talking about in their history of their first weeks. I did see other bans, from beehaw, but generally a pretty normal post history.
So, the mystery remains.
None of what you just said actually happened, though.
Great, do you want to clarify what happened? I'm sure it was innocuous, but it may not have been, from their perspective.
I don't entirely agree with this.
He said he wasn't in a thread on Blahaj. He was just on Lemmy.
But if he considers dude gender neutral (which is a fairly common view), then he didn't misgender anyone. Straight from Wikipedia:
So it seems he was falsely accused of misgendering someone, and when he clarified how he uses slang, said use wasn't respected.
Ofc I haven't seen his actual comment and it's entirely possible he was a total dick about it, but based on his explanation I feel it's a bit of an overreaction to moderate him.
I interpreted differently. I assumed the thread was on blahaj but was not a meta thread about blahaj. However, you're probably right.
If they were on another instance and just had a disagreement with a blahaj user about the term, then I'd say that's over moderation to block them unless they were being abusive, or a dick about it.
I could also see how a mod could block him as a user and accidentally block him from the instance if it was a year ago as mod tools weren't great. Although I don't use them.
However, as you say, depending on what the comments were, it could be the blahaj user was the one being the dick here.