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Did social media made people unable to properly chat? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 20 hours ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

17 comments fedilink hide all child comments

You find someone interesting on Instagram (or Tinder/happn/Bumble if they left their IG handle there), though their profile is restricted. You add that person, which accepts you, sometimes after two or three months. You leave a private message to that person, thanking it for accepting you as a follower, and asking if it wants to talk. Then, silence. Or worse yet, exchanges a few phrases and then ghosts you out of nowhere, without explanation or if you didn't said anything rude.

I mean, no one owes anyone anything in a situation like that, of course, but why bother opening a pathway in the first place, instead of just refusing? And if you find that other not really interesting after some conversation, though not really creepy or weird or over-the-top, why not be polite and say "look, this is not going to work, I don't want to talk to you anymore" or "this thing you said is a red flag for me, bye, take care"?

What bothers me is like, don't we talk anymore like normal people are supposed to? Have personal connections become so disposable like that? Or am I just freaking out and perhaps just need to find out somewhere in the real world where I could bond more easily with real people?

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago) (1 children)

Have you tried Discord? I've met a ton of people on Discord servers or in games that have a focus on Discord, and we talk at length on a regular basis, both in text and in voice. Hell, sometimes I'll sit in a voice chat with them and talk about nothing in particular all day or literally just sleep in digital proximity.

Instagram or any social media with DMs is probably shit for chat because it's literally not intended as a chat client. That's a function that's tacked on as an afterthought and usually pretty poorly.

Something like Discord, Element, or IRC is probably a way better bet. It's the same as trying to hold a conversation over email or Livejournal in the late 90s or early 00s rather than using an AIM, ICQ, YIM, or MSN client. Or like, IRC or even Palace or just some small web-based Java chat. You're just kind of doing it wrong, I think.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 18 hours ago

Will do. I'm already there btw, but some other issues arise from that. (tl,dr: finding someone between 30-45 and close by; I''ve had my share of drama with significant others that lived across the country)