this post was submitted on 02 Nov 2023
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Asklemmy
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It's not that, it's just the baggage that comes with it. It's like a partner telling you they have two small kids you have to deal with. At first it's fine, but then the pressure grows on you until one night you find yourself about to sacrifice the neighbours cat for a piece of that sweet sweet flesh, blood raining down as you tear the feline on half, its final yowls turning raw and gutteral whilst the life winks slowly out of its eyes to be reborn elsewhere in another life no doubt.
You know, small stuff like that.
this comment is school shooter coded
nah im too old for that. It'd be more work-related if anything, and even then I like my colleagues so who would I kill, Bart, who would I kill?
I mean, you could just stop eating dead animals.
Mmm death murder blood.
You're /so/ cool
Exactly, it's the cool factor that is the main driving force. Every time I go to the kebab shop, I pop on my sunglasses, sidle up casually to the counter and raise two fingers to the meatkeep, signalling that I want two baby deer on a pizza - stat! - and then I slide him two dollars across the counter, to sweeten the deal, and with a wink he throws in a hamster for that extra zest.
I chug down my ayran like a boss so fast that it makes the girls gasp, and then I grab my pizza and action roll out of the shop, tossing finger guns at everyone in sight. I aaaaaay across the road, fonzie-style, and tip the local crackhead generously with the end of mood ring to show him that I care and that I'm down.
That's just how I roll.
Can I be cool too?
putting down the wheel of time and reading the malazan book of the fallen would be a pretty cool thing to do ;)