this post was submitted on 22 Dec 2024
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Careful kids, the thought police are out in force today. Don't say anything that might be deemed offensive by <some group I'm not part of> at some point in history!
Haha. Sex between men is a power dynamic. Teehee. Real intimacy is unattainable between male lovers. Giggle. Pleasure from anal sex is shameful.
I think it’s reasonable to ask why bottoming is presented as inherently degrading/submissive. (Same with giving oral - the insult “cocksucker.”) The vast majority of gay men I know are mostly verse anyway, the distinction of top and bottom to some extent seems like a carryover from heterosexual culture.
Like yes, it’s just a meme, but it’s revealing of larger problematic attitudes. I’ve made the same kinds of jokes too, but there would be nothing worse about Trump were he to receive anal sex from Musk (as unpleasant as that image is.)
Yes, it is. But it's up to the bottom to decide how they wish to be represented. Not for some self-appointed language police on the internet to decide for them. Among people I know there is a wide variety of attitudes about this but it's absolutely universal that top/bottom/switch (or verse as you say) is indeed a power dynamic (that's kinda the point for many) but only in that moment. It's not a reflection of inferiority or weakness and it's funny to me that people would think that. Makes me think they haven't ever been involved in any type of BDSM activities.
Who gets to decide what attitudes are "problematic"?
I spent almost a decade of my life in TPE. Please do not lecture me about BDSM.
The acts themselves are not inherently submissive, and most kinksters I knew were uncomfortable with that suggestion.
I am deciding to express my discomfort with the terminology - that’s a decision I can make. I am a bottom, and submissive even! But I could also present the activity as dominant - in that I am lying back and expecting someone to provide me with pleasure. I have even “topped” individuals in a submissive way.
The meme is clearly presenting receptive anal sex as inherently degrading, which is a common narrative.
Boo hoo.
Don't be sad. Think of it as a performance. We don't get to clap at the end because in some communities that's considered offensive, but I have heard there will be cake.
Dude, people just pointed out that what was said could be offensive, and you went full snowflake. Chill out.
No. I went full "hey, here's why I don't think that's offensive" and THEY went full snowflake.
It's not offensive to you, but it is offensive to others. This is a fact that, throughout this conversation, you have absolutely failed to see or accept. That's all anyone here has wanted you to see.
I'm happy that you aren't offended and you're absolutely free to speak as you will. But your words have meaning that will differ from one person to another. That's all.