this post was submitted on 14 Dec 2024
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I notice a lot of comments here saying "Hey go live your life now! Pick up that guitar or paintbrush or dancing shoes or whatever! Live for you!" And I agree. I often struggle with these existential thoughts.
But something they might leave out is that it's HARD.
Following your own path can be unpredictable, and meandering, and you need to know who to trust and lean on them, and let them lean on you.
It can be a one-move-to-the-next kind of existing without that facade of "predictability" a society-prescribed life will get you. The good news is that stability is a myth anyway, so why not see it for what it really is?
I was treading water in a soul-destroying job for almost a decade when I finally saw the opportunity to strike out for myself, and I ran for it. My wife was promoted to a position that paid more and she didn't hate it, so we discussed it and I quit, and took on more household duties and put my efforts towards finally becoming a 3D artist.
It's been like a year+ and I still haven't "made it" yet! It's scary! But I've gotten some gigs! I'm still slow, and not as wildly creative as I'd like to be, but I do random labor on the side and try to keep my costs as low as possible. But she's happier with how not-depressed I am, and I've made so much progress more than I ever would have otherwise.
Are we even able to start saving for retirement? Not even close! But I'm betting on myself and in the process I get a lot more time well-spent with the person I love.
No, not everyone is gonna have these opportunities or privileges, I know. But keep looking, talk to people, DO THE WORK instead of just talking about it. Help people! Let people help you! There will be some foothold for you somewhere.
And if you gotta pull some shifts at a coffee shop to keep the lights on there's no shame in that! And you're gonna have people who think you're crazy and try to pull you back into the pot with the other cranky crabs because you're there reminding them that they could've done something with their lives too.
My point is, taking charge of your life instead of asking permission from various gatekeepers is HARD. You might follow your dreams and find out you suck at it. The dream might even change at some point.
But it's worth doing. Because what's the alternative?
Lord knows if the worst were to happen, your boss will be filling your job before your body is cold. So where is your effort, energy, discipline, talents, love, best spent?
As Bruce Lee once said: "Do not pray for an easy life. Pray for the strength to endure a difficult one."
I'd add, "one worth living."
Yeah... it's hard.
The status quo, even if its dredged from a lake, is so comfortably uncomfortable. You resolve to change, but do futilities. You resolve to change, but your leg is caught and you return by week two (aka the New Years' Resolutions number).
And to leap out and be instantly different is to play as something that doesn't have the safe façade of being a system gear. Then you're an oxbow lake, rather than in the river, and you wonder if everyone else is "floating by" already while you erode the soil that kept you streamlined down the main.
And then comes the "Should I have stayed? Was I being arrogant, spoilt enough to give up what I had?"
Idk what the moral of my comment is. I don't want to say "I'll discover it in a few years" either (,,>ࡇ<,,). Hopefully the mystery box is truer to my self than the alternative