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to those of you not very talkative / introverted, how do you survive the constant pressure and misunderstandings from coworkers and future employers to open up, talk more? (linux.community)

submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

14 comments fedilink hide all child comments

It's wearing me down.

Due to reasons I'm a nurse.

Possibly not the best choice for an introvert who wants to work and go home, but it is what it is.

I had a conversation with management and they told me I don't open up, which is fair and true and told me to be more empathetic with my coworkers.

Except that I can't and I don't care about most of them. As said, I just want to work and go home. I consider most of them childish, gossipy and immature. Of course I didn't tell management this.

I told them an extrovert is not who I am, if you force me to open up, I cannot disconnect during my pause and I'm going to work worse. I like doing my pause only when I've done my job whereas my other coworkers do their pause sooner, no matter if patients are cared for, which I don't understand but whatever. Some people including my manager think I do that to avoid them. No, I just want to do my job before I relax. And I relax alone.

They believe this is a choice. When my coworkers talk and talk, they overload me and I just want to work and go home.

I'm constantly misunderstood. My job shouldn't be to give attention to my coworkers or to management, yet here I am.

I'm applying for jobs elsewhere but I'm afraid I'm going to have this problem wherever I go, simply because most people in nursing are gossips and enjoy attention. This is what I fear the most, having to constantly change workplaces due to perceived slights and office theatrics I don't want to play and I'm so not good at playing.

Masking up and creating a workplace bubbly persona would destroy my mental health. Too much overload.

I'm not in a position where I can study something else, cause nothing interests me that much and I need money now.

Ideally I'd find a workplace that respects who I am without incurring a heavy financial penalty, but don't know what nursing option would give me that.

What I also don't want to do is to create a job interview persona, because sooner or later the real me will surface, a person extroverts don't want to work with. I'd like to go to a job interview telling them exactly this, that I'm not there to socialize but to work and go home and that I want to do my job but this doesn't mean I'm letting them exploit me (giving me a bigger workload than to other nurses for example).

I want to come clean to any future employer about this. Should I?

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

I tell my coworkers I keep work and my personal life seperate. When I'm at work I'm focused on working. I make small talk and I'm polite but I'm busy and people respect that and I've never had any issues.-

I have absolutely no idea what I'd do in a workplace like yours. Probably die from socialization overdose.

You could ask your manager what they mean by opening up to coworkers because that sounds extremely abnormal. You could also try interuping the conversation everytime the coworkers talk to you "sorry can't chat I'm working on something right now" then eventually they will give up. Eat lunch alone and tell them you prefer it that way. But it is good to make work friends to pass the time.