this post was submitted on 03 Nov 2024
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I think most people have certain expectations of where they will be in life at a certain age. Milestones. Some are kind of baked in to society. In the US, you'll graduate high school (secondary school) around 18. You can legally drink and, increasingly, smoke pot at 21. You'll graduate from college/University around 22-24. Some cultures of origin have you married by 20, with kids by 22. You should be a grandparent by 45. If you don't own a house by 30 you've failed at life. And on. And on. And on, ad nauseum.
We put these obligations and pressure on ourselves and we don't need to. Be told, you can let go of these pressures. Society, family, and culture expectations are not mandatory.
You're 24. You've got time and even if you never have sex there just so much to life. I recently buried an elderly friend. She lived to 92, died a virgin, and her only regret was not traveling more. Sure she was probably Ace, but it just shows there's more than the milestones we put on ourselves.
Have peace OP. Don't compare yourself to others, you didn't know their secrets, only their outside self
Grandparent by 45?
What the fuck place is that, Siberia or Alabama?
Rural Midwest America is wild. It is depressing how many people think it's normal to start a family at 17/18, never leave their hometown (of less than 5000), and never try to add to their knowledge of the world. (17 is being generous btw)
Don't get me wrong. There are some lovely people from the country. There's also a lot of willful ignorance
Have an grumpy upvote, because I'm not happy with that response.
Normal to start a family at 17? People have no sense of perspective. I didn't have a kid until I was 30, and here in the UK I know plenty of guys who didn't become fathers until their late 30's.
I can't imagine how hard it would be going through my 20's with kids. It sounds awful.
Small town America man. I 100% agree with you BTW. When my oldest brother was born my parents had been married two years, and were 20 years old. TWENTY. Fortunately my siblings and I were taught to think before committing. We all married, at the earliest, in our mid-twenties. No one had kids until late twenties/early thirties. My wife and I are child free for medical reasons, but that let's us be the aunt/uncle that can help out without being completely brain-drained from parenting 24/7