Asklemmy

43881 readers

805 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
[email protected]: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~

founded 5 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

204

dear introverts, what can I answer to a needy and clingy coworker who believes not talking means something's wrong (with me), so he leaves me alone? (programming.dev)

submitted 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

69 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I go to work to work because I need a paycheck, not to make friends.

Where I am there is a new coworker that to me acts needy (think of Slow Horses's Struan Loy), tries befriending me, but he invariably asks if everything's ok. I don't care about this person's life.

The first 2 times I didn't think anything of it, but he asks that every day and it's becoming tiring.

I feel mobbed and stalked, mobbed because he keeps insinuating there is something wrong with me just because I don't ask him about his private life and do my job, and stalked, because he is so fixated on me.

going to HR over this seems ridiculous, but I'm starting to hate his voice.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

Have you tried saying, "Please don't ask me that anymore"?

That will address the exact problem without being rude, without offending him, and without opening it up for more questions. You don't owe him an explanation, so don't leave an opening for one. Just say: "Please don't ask me that anymore."

If he asks why, you say, "Doesn't matter. Please don't ask me that anymore."

If he offers an explanation for why he's asking you that, you say, "Ok. Please don't ask me that anymore."

Neat and easy. No unintended consequences.