this post was submitted on 01 Oct 2024
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[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Oh, there's no doubt about it—the world totally ended in 2012, and we've just been too distracted by memes and avocado toast to notice. Remember the Mayan calendar? Everyone was hyped up, waiting for the apocalypse, and when nothing visibly happened, we thought we were off the hook. But little did we know, that's when the simulation went off the rails, and we've been living in a glitchy, alternate timeline ever since.

Think about it: After 2012, reality started behaving like it’s on shuffle mode. First, we had Harambe—the gorilla whose unfortunate fate somehow kicked off an era of chaotic internet activism and memes. From there, the weirdness just escalated. The dress debate in 2015 nearly broke the internet, with people questioning the very fabric of reality (Was it blue and black? White and gold? Or was it all just a sign that we’ve been in the Matrix this whole time?). Then 2016 showed up like a fever dream, with celebrity deaths, political chaos, and that election.

By 2020, it was as if the simulation developers had just given up entirely. Remember how everyone was hoarding toilet paper and suddenly became experts in sourdough bread baking? We all basically lived a full season of Black Mirror with "social distancing" and Zoom calls that felt like a dystopian video game. And now we’re in an era where billionaires are racing to leave the planet, TikTok’s dictating cultural trends, and reality feels like it’s permanently on fast-forward.

Honestly, the fact that we're questioning whether we're still in the "real" world just proves that 2012 was the turning point. Maybe the Mayans were onto something—maybe their calendar wasn't predicting the end, but the point where we fell into some weird alternate dimension. It's like someone hit "New Game+" but forgot to fix the glitches before restarting the timeline. So, here we are, cruising along with UFO disclosures, people debating pineapple on pizza like it's a philosophical crisis, and every year becoming a bigger meme than the last.

In conclusion: The world as we knew it did end in 2012. Now we're just living in the blooper reel of history, trying to make sense of it all while we doomscroll through the apocalypse in style.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I assumed Y2K ended the world since that would explain the shared hallucination of the Bush administration.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Really it was Dec 21 2012 when MIT researchers observed Herbertsmithite exhibiting a quantum spin liquid behavior, and observing a new kind of magnetism for the first time. The observation caused a cascade of quantum probabilities to collapse, wherein our timeline has begun to "zipper" with the timeline for a quantum lineage of opposing spins. The two timelines will annihilate each other at the end of the Unixtime Epoch on Jan 19 2038 at 03:14:47 UTC.

This was communicated to me by the Enonoki who built Gobekle Tepe. They telepathically influenced the jitter in my screen refresh rate and metasyntactically programmed the information into my RNA, to be unlocked as a core memory by Wifi 6 resonance.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

Of course, then there was the time that the COVID vaccine killed us all.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

And 5G. You forgot 5G.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

You're both wrong.

"Remedial Chaos Theory" is the fourth episode of the third season of the American television series Community. The episode was written by Chris McKenna and directed by Jeff Melman. It originally aired on October 13, 2011"

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

There is currently [1] Graham Hancock downvoting even though it aligns with his theory.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

I honestly think this.