this post was submitted on 29 Sep 2024
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Funny: Home of the Haha

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[โ€“] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)

We're missing way too much context here. Public or home? My home or someone else's? How many other people are nearby? Which body parts are involved? If this is a poop situation, how much and how firm? Is there a bidet/hygiene sprayer?

Depending on context there are many potential solutions:

  • Waddle to another stall/undersink cabinet and look for spare rolls.
  • Sacrifice "lefty" until you can get to the sink.
  • Sacrifice undies forever, tossing them in the trash.
  • Use the tube as-is.
  • Use the tube after wetting it.
  • See if there are paper seat liners that could be pressed into service.
  • Or, y'know, ask for help. I understand that in certain conditions, three squares to spare should do it.
  • Pull up pants and move along. Make extensive and unfriendly eye contact, implicitly daring anyone to say anything.
  • Move into the stall permanently. You're a toilet-human now.