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After is a new dating app that tries to tackle ghosting (techcrunch.com)

submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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a few interesting ideas in here, but also a few weird ideas and ideas i don't think are going to work at all. (also i'm not sure it's actually possible to build a "good" dating app.)

What sets the app apart from the rest of the dating app scene is that After requires users to share why they have unmatched a person before they are allowed to keep swiping. The idea behind the feature is to get rid of abrupt disconnections and confusion.

If two people match on After and start a conversation, but one person stops replying, they will be nudged to respond. If the person still doesn’t message the other user, the match expires. Before they can use the app’s features again, they need to choose a reason why they let the match expire.

Users can choose from a list of reasons to explain why they decided to stop responding. For instance, they can say distance was an issue or that the vibes didn’t match. After will then create a kind message and send it to the other person, and remind them that this isn’t a representation of who they are or their worth.

After will soon include opt-in mental health check-ins where you can reflect on your mood and feelings. And if the app thinks you have been using it too much, it will suggest that you take a break.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Totally agreed. I didn't mean to say that it's a failure if it doesn't properly encapsulate all complexity, but that the inability to do so has implications for design. In this specific case (as in many cases), the error they're making is that they don't realize the root of the problem that they're trying to solve lies in that tension.

The platform and environment are something you can shape even without an established or physical community.

Again, couldn't agree more! The platform is actually extremely powerful and can easily change behavior in undesirable ways for users, which is actually the core thesis of that longer write up that I linked. That's a big part of where ghosting comes from in the first place. My concern is that thinking you can just bolt a new thing onto the existing model is to repeat the original error.