this post was submitted on 19 Sep 2024
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Skyrim lead designer says it will be 'almost impossible' for Elder Scrolls 6 to meet fan expectations: 'Marketing departments just put their heads in their hands and weep' (www.pcgamer.com)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I'm expecting:

  • dialogue choices to be binary.
  • all NPC's are voiced by Todd.
  • there's a mandatory 200GB texture pack update on day one.
  • the Creation Club is integral to the main story.
  • skills are distilled down to STRONG, BENDY, SMART.
  • these three skills have a perk tree which is actually just a perk stick with no branches.
  • AI assesses whether your constructed town is good enough and won't let you proceed to the next mission unless you've gone to Granny Earl's house for three consecutive IRL Sunday's and sent photos of your freshly baked Sweet Roll™ to the Bethesda's Antarctic game studio (you incur all costs associated with postage) in the middle of Winter (May).
  • races outside of Imperial are DLC, as is any skin colour besides white, and any genital options besides "Jewish".
[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Wtf was that last point

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

Shlongs of Skyrim my man

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

American standards of decency require genital mutilation.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

Genital options!

Best guess is It's something about circumcised versus non? Because that's important

[–] [email protected] -2 points 1 month ago

I don't know man, sounds like something you should be asking Todd at the next shareholder meeting.