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How can I improve my communication with a friend I like? (mander.xyz)

submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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There is this guy I like, I have reason to think he may like me too but we're both playing dumb, or maybe I'm just imagining it all.

Yes, that's how immature I am. Now please help me.

We've known each other for years and we seem to get close to each other, then we take distance, then close again, repeat, repeat, repeat.

I'm terrified of losing him as a friend for trying to be more than just that. I've already lost people for showing my interest and I've also had to burn the bridge with guys who wouldn't give me space or kept hitting up on me repeatedly. This happens.

I would like to create a consistent, regular conversation going on. I'm afraid of overwhelming him so I don't even know what's a good frequency to reach out.

Personally the biggest challenge for me is finding ways to deepen our conversations. Things tend to stay pretty much on the surface most of the time, even though we can talk of almost any topic openly. Another barrier is our very different interests, we have almost no shared media in common (different music, different shows watched/liked, different videogames liked etc).

Usually when talking to other friends, conversations tend to naturally steer towards more meaningful topics. I don't know if I'm inadvertently holding myself back with him, or if finding meaningful topics has always been a thing started by the other person and I've never realized it.

So, any tips?

Have you got ways to deepen conversations?

Guys, have girls ever impressed you positively and how?

Thanks

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

This is a good one. Maybe there isn't a way? Maybe it's not the right time?

My wife and I are two people with different interests who just happen like each other and have a family together-we often comment on how if we had met any earlier in our lives we would definitely not like each other.

For the most part of our marriage I worked alot. But we were always together when we could be.

Currently this is the most we have been together (last 6yrs of 25) because we now work together in our own place, and the kids have grown and moved out....and we still like each other!

Love is not a question if you like each other, and you can be two people who are together. You don't have to have deep meaningful conversations to make a good relationship, my partner is a empathetic, thoughtful and philosophical person and I tend to go for the fart jokes.

But we get each other. Do you guys get each other then you are together?

Hopefully this rambling statement makes sense, from a different perspective. I'm tired and am having my first cup of coffee.