I’ve a friend who can’t follow directions to save his life.

Every time, it’s just a migraine trying to figure out how this guy manages to get through life.

Like once he was taking his kids to the MN zoo, from north west of the twin cities.

“Okay, so you’re gonna to want to come down 94, take 494 south to 35W south, go to McAndrews Road- you’ll see the brown signs for “zoo”, so you can just follow those, but’ll go left on McAndrews and the zoo is on the left a bit down the road- you’ll see the big signs and tiger and stuff.”

He takes 694, instead of 494, goes around until it becomes 494, and around some more until he’s back on the north side before he decides to call.

He’s back where 494/694 on that side do the merge thing and go to 94 proper.

We get him onto 694, which would also connect him to 35w, he’d just go through the city is all.

He panics or something and gets on hwy 100. Okay. No big deal, take that to 494, take 494 to 35W,

Somehow misses the 100/494 interchange despite literally working at that exit for 3 years…

Gets dumped onto Normandale BLVRD, and instead of realizing maybe something’s wrong, (gee not a higway anymore…) he gets angry because my instructions are “too complicated” and “they keep changing”, and “why did I give him directions if I don’t know the roads?!”.

Meanwhile his GPS in the background has given up giving him directions.

He’s pissed because his kids are frustrated they don’t actually get to the zoo, because he can’t follow directions through an area he should actually know because he’s lived here is entire life.