Asklemmy

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How do you get over the fact that not everyone will like you? (lemmy.ca)

submitted 4 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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It’s obvious and you would be deluded into thinking everyone you interact with likes you.

But how do you feel it?

Context: I’m a course instructor and I get direct reviews on my lessons and around 95% of feedback is positive to very positive.

There’s less than 5% of my reviews that have real negative and non-constructive comments. Things like accusations of being incompetent or unprepared or full of shit, etc. They mention times I had technical difficulties or made a mistake (like giving an incorrect response)

Just by the numbers alone this is a very small minority overall. Yet these comments stick in my head and make me doubt my abilities.

So what are your strategies or ways you drown out this stuff?

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

In my country we have a saying: You can't please both Greeks and Troyans. (Which, by the way, should be Athenians and Troyans to be Historically correct).

The point being that it's impossible to please everybody all the time, so either there is no point in even trying or if you really care that much about pleasing people you have to pick which ones you want to please.

Further, for me it helps that I put a lot of value in Honesty, so I have almost no tendency to be fake or bullshit to try and please people, and dislike it when others do it to try and please me (and nowadays I am pretty good at detecting fakery) - I would much rather have people give it to me straight than try to bullshit me to "please me" (they're not even doing it because of me: it's generally done either as conflict avoidance strategy or trying to get people's goodwill or sympathy to later extract some personal gains out of it)

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

Great points and we see the results with some of our politicians, around the globe.