Asklemmy

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How do you get over the fact that not everyone will like you? (lemmy.ca)

submitted 4 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

62 comments fedilink hide all child comments

It’s obvious and you would be deluded into thinking everyone you interact with likes you.

But how do you feel it?

Context: I’m a course instructor and I get direct reviews on my lessons and around 95% of feedback is positive to very positive.

There’s less than 5% of my reviews that have real negative and non-constructive comments. Things like accusations of being incompetent or unprepared or full of shit, etc. They mention times I had technical difficulties or made a mistake (like giving an incorrect response)

Just by the numbers alone this is a very small minority overall. Yet these comments stick in my head and make me doubt my abilities.

So what are your strategies or ways you drown out this stuff?

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago (3 children)

It may sound a little silly but when I get good feedback on something, I pop it in my journal under a specific tag so I can revisit it from time to time.

It’s unfortunate that people are unfair to you, possibly they are younger or otherwise have incorrect expectations about your fallibility as a human.

I used to respond to things like that but these days I let the positive comments speak for themselves. Just remember to ask for feedback- a lot of people otherwise won’t do it unless they’ve got something negative to say.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

They could also just be projecting their personal shit, and there's no controlling that. Or they just don't want to be in the course. Or they have deluded expectations.

People can be super finicky like that. I remember when in high school, I certainly didn't want to be there, and I know I found a way to make it my teachers' fault, who were probably pretty good people considering they put up with us.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

"I, ShinigamiOokamiRyuu, like your way of doing things and send her best wishes."

There, you have a journal entry to finish the day with.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

possibly they are younger or otherwise have incorrect expectations about your fallibility as a human.

The majority of them are almost double my age actually 😛