Asklemmy

43807 readers

970 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
[email protected]: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~

founded 5 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

What's an immediate turn off in a person? (lemmy.world)

submitted 3 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

85 comments fedilink hide all child comments

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago (2 children)

So many things.

queer phobic. I'm not queer but many of my friends are. I don't need that negativity in my life.
smoker. Maybe a pass if they are actively trying to quit. Maybe. Most active smokers I've known have kind of been assholes about it, though.
littering. Sometimes combined with the above when smokers throw their butts on the ground
being a jerk about people having healthy hobbies. Like, just let someone enjoy some video games or bird watching or whatever. I can't with people who are like "omg that's so childish you still [play games/read fiction/go to the zoo/whatever]?".
being anti-consent. I've met a few women who are like "just do stuff and I'll tell you if I don't like it" and I'm like lady there's some "stuff" that can be done that by the time it's happening , the damage is done. Let's just have a conversation about what we like and what our boundaries are.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

littering.

I was going out with this guy I really liked. Probably 3rd or 4th date. We decided to take a drive, and went to a local grist mill. Walked around, had a nice time. Took the scenic route home on this road that ran along a pristine Tennessee Creek. He was drinking a Gatorade or something, and when he finished it, rolled down the window and chucked the bottle out into the creek.

I stopped the car, made him go pick it up (or I wasn't going to drive him the 20+ miles home), and never called him again. Fuck. That. Behavior.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 3 months ago (2 children)

smoking

anti-consent

Can't help but feel a "my body my choice, your body my choice" vibe from this

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I don't understand what you are trying to say.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I just think it's odd that you immediately associate smoking with being an asshole - unless they're quitting. Like you make it very clear that personal agency is important to you - but smoking makes you a piece of shit.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

Smoking is bad for the smoker and everyone around them. If you're not even trying to stop, you are kind of a piece of shit.

I don't see what that has to do with asking for consent to touch someone's butt.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 months ago (1 children)

i don't think being a smoker necessarily makes you an a*shole, but surely makes other people live with the smell and the taste of tobacco. and you can't force people to do that.

[–] [email protected] -2 points 3 months ago

I make it a point to not discuss things like this when people aren't thinking clearly.

When you smoke a cigarette the smoke doesn't automatically find the nearest non-smokers lungs in order to harm them. The smoke settles, and there are more than enough places far enough away from people to smoke at.

If you're worried about secondhand smoke harming you in any context outside of smoking indoors - I'm sorry but you just aren't thinking clearly.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Nope. You literally cannot smoke without polluting others.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

You also literally can't play videogames without polluting others, since some of the electricity is still generated by burning coal. You also literally can't do any other thing either probably, since electricity is used in creating almost everything, or at least some other pollution.

I think if someone tries to make sure not to smoke near unknown people or people that don't want it, they're acceptable in my book.

[–] [email protected] -2 points 3 months ago

These people are under the impression that secondhand smoke is sentient and immediately finds the nearest non-smokers lungs to pollute. I wouldn't expect logic to get through to them.