this post was submitted on 21 Jul 2024
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They're both wrong.
Parents owe undying love and loyalty to their kids. Kids don't owe their parents shit. If the parents did a good job, their kids will want to support them on their own. If you need to pressure kids into loving their parents, then abuse or neglect has already occurred.
That's not necessarily true. Personality disorders exist, as does addiction, as does kids growing up into assholes. I've raised 5 kids and I can tell you parents have a lot less control over who their kids turn out to be than you suggest.
Personality disorders are caused by child abuse. If your kid develops BPD "out of nowhere", it's your own fault for not loving them enough as a kid.
Addiction is forgivable if caused by poverty, but not if caused by the parents. Healthy people are a lot more resistant to addiction. Children use drugs to escape when you've made their lives miserable.
Some personality disorders are caused by trauma and abuse.
Some trauma and abuse are caused by parents.
The world is big and you are being a narrow-minded asshole with this kind of comment that confidently places blame on people you don’t know for things you don’t know about.
Okay, let me explain what just happened to you:
I said parents owe their kids undying love, and kids don't have to love their parents.
You said "Nuh uh, I don't have to love my kids if they get a mental illness"
Or maybe you didn't. Maybe you actually meant "Nuh uh, my kids owe me love if they get a mental illness"
Either way, you decided to follow this behaviour up by trying to take the moral high ground. For some arcane reason.
Now listen, I know an adult with a PD, just one, who says his parents never abused him. And he loves them. And I know two dozen who were abused, and loathe their parents. Let's try and spot the correlation, shall we?
No, it went like this:
You said, “all child personality problems are caused by parents”
and I said “no they are not, and further, you are an asshole for claiming that”
You're mixing up the order of events.
I only responded to your one comment. Not a lot of events to mix up the order of.
Perhaps I responded to your narrowminded and accusatory comment before you sent it?
Love you yourself say correlation, because there may be one. Causation however is what you imply and that's not necessarily the case here.