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Please help me understand the needs of those experiencing an unplanned pregnancy (lemmy.ml)

submitted 4 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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For a long time I have not felt belonging to either the Pro Choice or Pro Life groups and recently came across ProGrace which sets politics aside to focus on aiding the woman and meeting her needs directly both during and after her pregnancy regardless as to how she decides to proceed. This got my attention and I have since taken their training course, listened to their podcast and started some of their recommended reading to further my understanding.

In full disclosure I am a white christian male in the southeastern USA who has experienced two unplanned pregnancies myself and after learning of how terribly the church has handled their support of women, especially around unplanned pregnancy, I am looking to work with my wife to educate those within our sphere of influence to address this.

However, as mentioned above, I am a male and so naturally my experience around the issue simply does not compare to the depth of emotion and trauma that a woman would experience and so I am hoping to learn from those here who are or have experienced an unplanned pregnancy to better understand what support is needed to bring women through the traumas associated, overcome the fear and shame around the issue, and just generally help in any way I can.

I know this is a sensitive topic and so I would not ask for sharing directly in the comments here. Rather I am hoping to chat directly whether via Signal, email, etc. or even a quick call for those comfortable with that (can use Jitsi, Signal or another private voice chat to avoid needing to share any personal details). I would like to simply listen to your experience; I will not debate, judge, etc. as my goal is entirely to learn.

Thank you for taking the time to read and consider.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

Thank you for your comment. I'm only sad I added mine so late to the conversation. I find this entire ProGrace website so scary...they're seeking to educate Christians on how to speak to vulnerable pregnant women in ways more likely to make them open to hearing Christ's message. It would be cringe if it didn't exist in the context of the regressive, christian-army-led hellscape we find ourselves in.

God’s design for pregnancy is to intertwine a woman and a child. He has made it impossible for us to try to help one while bypassing the other, but instead calls us to work for the dignity and welfare of both of them.

That's one of their two Core Beliefs--how fucking scary is that? Can you imagine being a woman with an unwanted pregnancy who doesn't have the money or access to just seek the abortion healthcare you need, and you seen an advertisement for "pregnancy crisis help" and you're desperate so you go there and then someone with that "core belief" is talking to you about some bullshit and you realize "oh, these people aren't going to help me get an abortion at all" and then you're just trying to get out of there but you're not trying to be rude....can you imagine that nightmare?? This organization is, in part, training those crisis center people to use trickier language that makes pregnant women feel like their might be some empathy for their situation...so, lengthening the period of time that woman sits in a center having her time wasted.

Can you imagine being a person who thinks that "God's design for pregnancy is to intertwine a woman and a child" and believing that you have any right to counsel a woman coping with an unwanted pregnancy??? The delusion is so thick you could cut it with a knife.

The whole this is depressing and shameful.