this post was submitted on 07 Jul 2024
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My depression has been trolling its way back recently, I was doing good since January... Those two weeks have been hard. Keep crying without knowing why exactly during my visits at my psychologist.
But the weekend wasn't that bad. We went to the municipal pool yesterday, the kid was happy. Today we went to the beach with friends, it was a most beautiful and relaxing day. When we came back, everything started going so wrong, I became super clumsy and almost broke stuff multiple times. Ended up screaming at myself and went to my office in the basement to isolate myself.
I feel bad for my wife and son. They deserve better than what I can offer right now.
You also deserve better than what you can offer right now. You deserve to be well taken care of, including by yourself.
This means when you fuck up while trying to take care of yourself, you can be angry at yourself for fucking up, or you can be compassionate to yourself in recognition of your loss.
I have a very hard time not being angry at myself. But I agree with you.
Shit, that blows. Sorry to hear that.