this post was submitted on 16 May 2024
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If someone were to call me a "short king," I would have their name legally changed to "Cellulite Queen" or "The Right High Honorable Sir Shriveldick Pissinbed III" or some other such.
What if I called you a badass tiny motherfucker?
Your name is now Baron von Halitosis Drinksfromcarton Esq.
Fair and honest, except the titles. Thank you, tiny badass motherfucker. I accept.
I definitely roll with "badass tiny mf", "chill little dude", "tiny gangsta bro" or any other title making fun of my stature. Call me anything involving "king" and I'll be inclined to convince you that, even though I'm short, you'll be shorter once you're confined to a wheelchair