this post was submitted on 02 May 2024
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Autism

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[Question] how did your partner respond when you began to suspect you may be on the spectrum but undiagnosed? (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 4 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
12 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

Interested in hearing from experiences that don't directly align with the question as well.

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[โ€“] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I got this from a few friends lol. Apparently, it's pretty obvious that I'm autistic, but I had absolutely no self-awareness. I have a natural tendency to choose other autistic people to socialize with. I would think they were normal, authentic, interesting, easy to communicate with, and accepting. Meanwhile, I thought most people were inauthentic, shallow, hard to understand, and judgmental. Now that I know I'm autistic, I understand that:

  • inauthentic = social conformity amd social construction of reality

  • shallow = small talk

  • hard to understand = speak using "polite" indirect implications and social cues

  • judgmental = upset that I "ignored" their indirect politeness and broke social norms by speaking directly. Ironically, I was being judgmental of them, too.

I still prefer autistics because they're just my people and we get along much better, but have more understanding and acceptance of NT behaviors. Anyway, when I found out I was autistic, a some of them were like, "We thought you knew...it's pretty obvious."

[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

was a bit of a running joke for years even before our son was diagnosted. but covid times offered the perfect period to hyper focus on researching his diagnosis. which led to reading all my old school records. finding all the vaugue language being used to dismiss my childhood behaviors that in his records, were used as the basis of a diagnosis. was an interesting "oh son of a bitch!" moment.

At this point in my life, i only put effort into maintaining two friendships. Both of which are a couple decades old now. One is ND at the very least. The other was diagnost as autistic about six months ago, to absolutely no ones surprise. We really do tend to drift into our own little social circles of peace.