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A tip about paragraph breaks inside of character speech (beehaw.org)

submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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So, the rule is that if you have a single character speaking across multiple paragraphs, you don't use end quotes on those paragraphs. I get the intent of the rule, but I think it looks awful and is jarring.

What I have been doing for a long time, is to insert a minor action at the end of that paragraph or the start of the next. I don't even notice that I am doing it anymore, it just feels natural to have a character gesture or emote in some way every so often.

The only reason that this came to mind is that one of my new readers pointed out a spot in Chapter 50 where I had used end quotes on a paragraph break of continuous speech. I edited in a minor action instead, the character was recalling a previous thought process, so I had him lean back in his chair and look up, which is the sort of thing people often do during that sort of thought.

One of the advantages of publishing a serial online, you potentially get some good feedback. :)

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

This may add a longer pause than is wanted in some situations, like in the middle of what's supposed to be a speech or a breathless ramble. I think sometimes uninterrupted paragraphs of dialogue are warranted.

But otherwise, yeah, action beats with the dialogue is a good tool to have in the box, and to use often.

It's also handy for people who don't want to write "said" all the time, since you can indicate who is speaking with an action beat followed immediately by otherwise unmarked dialogue, or by context alone (e.g. there are only two people in the convo and they're taking turns.) It can add variety to your sentence structures.

Attempted example:

He sat back and sighed. "That's quite a story. But I can't say it's an especially believable one."

"Well," she said, pulling a sheaf of papers out of her purse. "Have a look at this."

He took the papers and shuffled through them slowly, frowning. Halfway through the pile, he paused. Reread something. He looked up and met her eyes.

She held his gaze, then nodded. "I think you can see why this might be a problem for both of us."

It's important that the action means something besides just the pause, imo. You can use actions like that to show something about the character or how they're feeling - like, in OP's example, a character leaning back and looking up like that would imply they are relaxed and casual. If you had them in a different situation or wanted to show a different personality, you might have them do a similar but different thing, like leaning forward and steepling their fingers, or fiddling with a knife (will there be stabbing?!), or taking a slow sip of water, or interrupting themself to make a comment about the food, or clearing their throat. It can be a way to multitask and show something about the character even while they're having a conversation about something else. Whereas not thinking of it as anything but a pause in dialogue might lead to accidentally implying something about the charactee you don't intend to, like making them appear relaxed when they're supposed to be tense, or interested in a conversation when they're supposed to be bored or distracted.