this post was submitted on 20 Mar 2024
193 points (97.5% liked)
Asklemmy
43863 readers
1399 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- [email protected]: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
“You cannot love someone else until you love yourself.”
My dad raised me on this. If don’t see yourself worthy of love from even yourself, you’ll never be able to accept it from someone else. Healthy love is mutual. Also, this ties back into the idea that if you don’t see yourself worthy of love, it means you need to work on yourself until you do rather than trying to fill that gap with someone else.
I found that same nugget just under a decade ago. Dropped off the dating scene to work on myself. It really made me reflect. I'm still working on myself and honestly I suspect I will be for a while to come.
It took me over 6 years after my first serious relationship to really start figuring myself out and getting in tune with who I really was. I’m definitely still on the path and I realize more and more why my last relationship ended. It really was the best thing for me at the time.
When I first came across that wisdom I realized my desire in a relationship was to just pour myself into the other person, basically worship them. But not for their benefit, but to distract myself from myself. It's fairly easy to see how that goes wrong.
I'm still learning, and I've found even more stuff I need to work on, but either I get there or I don't, what matters if I never stopped trying.