this post was submitted on 16 Mar 2024
183 points (96.4% liked)

No Stupid Questions

35807 readers
1543 users here now

No such thing. Ask away!

!nostupidquestions is a community dedicated to being helpful and answering each others' questions on various topics.

The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:

Rules (interactive)


Rule 1- All posts must be legitimate questions. All post titles must include a question.

All posts must be legitimate questions, and all post titles must include a question. Questions that are joke or trolling questions, memes, song lyrics as title, etc. are not allowed here. See Rule 6 for all exceptions.



Rule 2- Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material.

Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material. You will be warned first, banned second.



Rule 3- Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here.

Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here. Breaking this rule will not get you or your post removed, but it will put you at risk, and possibly in danger.



Rule 4- No self promotion or upvote-farming of any kind.

That's it.



Rule 5- No baiting or sealioning or promoting an agenda.

Questions which, instead of being of an innocuous nature, are specifically intended (based on reports and in the opinion of our crack moderation team) to bait users into ideological wars on charged political topics will be removed and the authors warned - or banned - depending on severity.



Rule 6- Regarding META posts and joke questions.

Provided it is about the community itself, you may post non-question posts using the [META] tag on your post title.

On fridays, you are allowed to post meme and troll questions, on the condition that it's in text format only, and conforms with our other rules. These posts MUST include the [NSQ Friday] tag in their title.

If you post a serious question on friday and are looking only for legitimate answers, then please include the [Serious] tag on your post. Irrelevant replies will then be removed by moderators.



Rule 7- You can't intentionally annoy, mock, or harass other members.

If you intentionally annoy, mock, harass, or discriminate against any individual member, you will be removed.

Likewise, if you are a member, sympathiser or a resemblant of a movement that is known to largely hate, mock, discriminate against, and/or want to take lives of a group of people, and you were provably vocal about your hate, then you will be banned on sight.



Rule 8- All comments should try to stay relevant to their parent content.



Rule 9- Reposts from other platforms are not allowed.

Let everyone have their own content.



Rule 10- Majority of bots aren't allowed to participate here.



Credits

Our breathtaking icon was bestowed upon us by @Cevilia!

The greatest banner of all time: by @TheOneWithTheHair!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

I met a girl that I'm interested in and enjoys comics like I do, would something like asking her out to a comic store be dumb? I have a hard time talking to girls so not sure if this would be a dumb idea.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Counter argument: unclear communication is a road to sorrow and anger. Be clear with your intentions. You may suffer some losses up front, but you won't waste your time with someone who's not interested in what you're interested in.

Also, if someone isn't excited to go out with you, you can do better.

If the other person thinks it's just a friendly hang and you abruptly context switch into a sexual/romantic thing, there's good odds she'll be mad, and rightfully so. She may read it as you weren't actually interested in her or the activity, but were being deceitful to try to get in her pants.

Be honest. Be prepared for rejection. Don't mislead people.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

And you burn bridges pretty quickly.

Listen, I get the modern mentality of "If women don't want to date you who cares if you scare them away." but having friends is more important to dating someone so maybe building a social network is better than just rushing to date every girl you meet. Besides if a guy has no female friends, probably

If the other person thinks it’s just a friendly hang and you abruptly context switch into a sexual/romantic thing,

Yeah the key is you don't treat it as a sexual/romantic thing at first, if you're both interested, there will be SOME clue or at least get to know her first., rather than trying to date her immediately. This isn't a speed run competition, you can take some time to get to know people.

There was 8 years where I "tried to be clear"... guess what, I ended up with 1 female friend because most women don't want someone who tries to date them to hang around with them. And that was long before this whole incel/friendzone shit was popular. If you meet a girl and immediately try to date her, that's the biggest of red flags.

But go do you, just don't be surprised that "Being direct" keeps biting you in the ass.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

Your reply is not fully applicable because the context here is he already wants to date this woman.

You can and should have friends that aren't your own gender. This post specifically isn't about that. The guy wants to date her. Hanging out and pretending otherwise can quickly tip over into something unfortunate. You can find out awkwardly late that they already are seeing someone, they don't date men, they have incompatible relationship goals, or whatever, and make less good decisions because you're acting with incomplete information.

Many of my friends have been women. Many of them I didn't especially want to date or fuck.

I had many years in my youth of awkwardly hanging around women hoping something would align.

Turns out "Do you want to go on a date? There's a bar by me that has arcade machines" and "do you want to make out?" are a potent combination.