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I’ve had depression for years. You get good at pretending to be happy/ok and you mostly just become numb and very good at hiding things on the outside.
Same!
I'm nonbinary and spent the last 25-ish years suppressing my feelings in order to blend in at school and work. One ends up getting very good at masking themselves, wearing a "Resting Neutral Face" so often that it becomes a reflexive defense mechanism.
I finally escaped Texas a couple of years back and got started on hormone therapy, which has been amazing. My friends and relatives have all commented on how much happier I seem now, but I haven't been able to drop the mask entirely as of yet. I still have a hard time showing negative emotions. After hiding them for so long, anger and sadness are wired in like a PTSD trigger that numbs my expression before anything more than concern can show.
I suppose it isn't all that bad, having an involuntary poker face can be an advantage in social deduction games. Not even my partners can tell when I'm the imposter in Among Us. XD
This sounds familiar. For me, add masking ADHD over enthusiasm, and other factors.
/agree
After some time, you just shield yourself automatically with several layers of mental protection and you have several ready-to-use answers so everything is fine (spoiler: it’s not)