this post was submitted on 15 Mar 2024
271 points (97.5% liked)

Asklemmy

44148 readers
1480 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy ๐Ÿ”

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[โ€“] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[โ€“] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago (5 children)

I'm an in-house consultant for Enterprise Content Management.

[โ€“] [email protected] 44 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Sounds IT-related. Can you fix my printer?

[โ€“] [email protected] 42 points 9 months ago (6 children)

Best I can do is strangle you with a USB cable.

[โ€“] [email protected] 25 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Nice. This is my new go-to answer for that question.

[โ€“] [email protected] 18 points 9 months ago

I'm sure your granny will be thrilled.

[โ€“] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago

If it means I never have to deal with printers again, I'll take it.

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I'm down. The safe word is 'wenches'.

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Have you been stalking me?

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

Can you do 2pm, next Tuesday?

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Use a micro or mini-b.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago
[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Please tell me it's not Opentext...

[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

Fortunately not. I haven't quite descended to the seventh circle of hell yet.

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Exceed is still the only program that handles graphically intense Unix X11 sessions properly for Windows machines. It's still not great though.

Some of us still have to slog through old CAD applications that have long been abandoned.

[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Im gonna guess, is that a job where you advise a company on how to organize, store, and use "enterprise content" (im gonna guess that's like internal materials like training stuff, internal tools/software)

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

Not totally wrong.

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

I'm thinking of the episode of That '70s Show where Kelso's dad is trying to explain to Kelso what he does for a homework assignment.

Kelso: "OK, let's get started. Question number one, what's your job?"

John: "I'm a senior executive statistical analysis technician."

Kelso: "You're a senior execuโ€ฆ what?"

John: "Well, in plain English, I concatenate the verse statistical information to maximize the potential utilization of data."

Kelso: "So you give people data!"

( Kelso is on the verge of writing it down. )

John: "A lot of people think that. No. My job's not about output, it's about throughput."

Kelso: "So you throughput data!"

John: "Well, now you've lost me, son. Oh, listen Michael, you know the eight tracks you love so much?"

Kelso: "You make them!"

John: "No, but because of us, other people who make them are able to make them better."

Kelso: "So, you fix stuff!"

John: "You could say that..."

( Kelso starts writing. )

John: "But I wouldn't."

( Kelso erases it with frustration. )

And then it keeps going on the like for a while.

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Yeah, that's pretty much how it goes for me.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Huh. Somehow I understand even less what you do than before I read that.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

My job is to leverage the core competencies of my employer into win win scenarios by proactively and synergistically reengineering document based processes. I hope that clears it up.