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is telling your employer you may leave if passive aggressive coworkers don't stop gossiping about you behind your back and gaslighting you a good idea? (linux.community)

submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I always thought of it like this: if a workplace makes you feel devalued or is toxic (gaslighting and ranting about you behind your back), you quietly find new pastures.

Now, however, I think this is the wrong approach: why do I have to accept they bully me? I should defend myself. And doesn't the manager have to make sure a workplace ain't toxic? Instead of quietly looking for a new job next time this happens, wouldn't it be better to confront, document and escalate instead of letting it go? even if HR only exists to protect the company and not me.

If HR and manager do nothing to address the problem, wouldn't it be a better strategy to start working the least possible and let the company fire me, while looking for another job?

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

but it’s officially on record that you’ll speak up while others quietly work

why would I want to work where people try destroying my credibility behind my back? This is not something I'm willing to overlook.

If HR acts like you described, if I'm that replaceable to them, so is my workplace.

The others don't work quietly, btw.

ETA: wait, are you implying this is normalized? Employees do actually say nothing not to land in hot water, because they're afraid of being fired and are willing to overlook the gossip and backstabbing for a check? Not for me.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 8 months ago (1 children)

By work quietly I mean they don't go to HR when there are problems. I think you misinterpreted me though, I'm saying if it's bad enough you want to go to HR, then it's probably bad enough where you could just look for other jobs.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

thank you

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

To add to what scrubbles said, the looking for another job part of very important here. Blowing the whistle on your current colleagues may result in your boss not giving you as great of a reference as they otherwise may have. The best way to handle a hostile workplace is to leave the hostile workplace, unless there are blatantly outright illegal things being done to you. And sadly, depending on what those things are, even then....