this post was submitted on 28 Feb 2024
222 points (97.4% liked)
Asklemmy
43846 readers
675 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy π
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- [email protected]: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
Why?
13/30 is rather problematic
That's not about the gap. That's about the age. That's an entirely different thing.
Also anyone dating legal teenagers as an adult are weird AF. Gives off "Id go lower but the law won't let me"
I concur. It looks more like manipulation then a relationship.
13/13 is fine. It is definitely about the gap wtf?
So 13/20 is the same as 33/40. Gap is the same. Or 33/51 if you want percentages.
Ok fair point. Though I'll say in my experience I don't see people being weird out by 33/40 or even 33/51 in most cases. It's almost always with someone in their early 20s and it comes off weird when you know that the brain isn't even finished developing until years later. I think once someone reaches around 25-30 then they are truly considered "adult" in a more broad social sense.
Common complaint from people is that we send "kids" to war, but obviously most don't. We just know that's it's fucked up to make young people 18- early 20s make life altering decisions.
The brain is constantly changing. You are constantly changing. People do judge and do it very vocally. I think some are projecting and some are jealous. I suspect they will end up on the wrong side of history.
Ones values and interests change as life changes around you. Rather than trying to squeeze into the mold of those in your age group I prefer to spend time and conversation with those that share my current values, interedts, desires.
When I look back, and when I talk to others I find that age gap relationships have been some of the best.
What's 13/30 mean? I hope you don't mean 13yo. Why would you think that's what I meant by age gap?
β¦ a 13 year old with a 30 year oldβ¦
Why would you assume that from just saying "age gap"?
β¦ I was making a joke about it by saying βdepends on the age gap lolββ¦
Why are you getting defensive?
Ofc consenting adult relationships with large age gaps are generally fine with some exceptions.
I got the joke. Made perfect sense in the context of the thread.
Because child abuse is a weird thing to joke about.
If you wanna be annoyingly puritanical about it go ahead. I didnβt mean to offend your sensibilities.