this post was submitted on 31 Aug 2023
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[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

it's a turn of phrase.

Wait until you find out that "go off queen" is also a thing. I wonder why "go off king" and "go off queen" has to both exist. Could it be that this idiomatic expression is a gendered one and that using the expression on someone who doesn't identify with that gender is a form of misgendering?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I haven't seen either of these phrases, but in my experience even when something is supposed to be the equivalent versions of each other, it somehow feels different to hear and say. Like, it feels alright to call my group of friends "bros" but not "sisses." Could it be that "go off queen" and "go off king" have different connotations despite the fact that they should mean the same thing?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The reason that one version of the "go off" phrase (identical in every way to the other except for one word that specifies gender) might feel to you like it has different connotations is because we live in a patriarchal society that doesn't assign value the same across all genders. That's not an excuse to use the version of that phrase which misgenders someone.

And your example is really weird and obscures what's actually at issue. The difference in meaning between the words "bros" and "sissies" goes way beyond just a difference in gender. One is a common and generally affectionate term that men call each other when being friendly. The other is most often used as misogynistic term to insult men by disparaging their masculinity.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

And your example is really weird and obscures what's actually at issue. The difference in meaning between the words "bros" and "sissies" goes way beyond just a difference in gender. One is a common and generally affectionate term that men call each other when being friendly. The other is most often used as a misogynistic term to insult men by disparaging their masculinity.

I wanted to give a couple of other examples too, but that's just what I thought of at the moment. "Hey guys" or "hey dudes" also works though.

That's not an excuse to use the version of that phrase which misgenders someone.

When did I say or insinuate that it was?