this post was submitted on 19 Nov 2023
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I've noticed friends chose their faith themselves. I've lost four really good friends, that I've known for 15+ years, by them just not talking to me anymore. That's it, no angry shout-out, no "oh you changed a lot", no complain about me trying to contact them or any remarks on why they might not want to hang out with me. They just never go online anymore and don't reacting to the phone to trying to hang out. I know they aren't dead, as other people I still know are in contact with them.
My conclusion is, that a lot of people don't know anymore what friendship is and that they destroy this themselves until they are old but have no one left to hang out with but shallow TikTok level of friendships.
Some people vanish because they struggle with life. Maybe that's not relateable for everyone, but sometimes people do not have the energy to maintain friendships. There is nothing that you can do on your end but there also is nothing they can do on their end.
From addictions to mental crisis, autoimmune disease or chronic pain there is so much that can suck a person dry. Also all kinds of family and relationship issues.
Sometimes the difference between the friends these people still have contact with and those who they don't have contact with comes down to marginal differences like living close by and crossing ways regularly.
This is me. I barely have the energy to get through each day. Maintaining friendships feels like an impossible mountain to climb. Being an introvert plays a large part in this as I feel more tired after hanging out with friends. In truth, friendship has almost always felt like a burden more than a benefit to me. I kept them because I had to, or I was supposed to. I don’t feel like I’m missing much now.