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How to meet people (lemmy.world)

submitted 10 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I'm 41F. I was married but separated 8 years ago. I was still young but was very traumatized and never really wanted another relationship. Lately I've been feeling a little lonely and would like to meet some new people but I moved and don't have many friends here and the ones I have are younger and do younger people things (like going out at night. I'm too old for that lol). I wanted to meet some people my age, friends or dates, but almost everyone is married. I do cooking and French classes but again, only young people do that and I'm the "odd old lady". I think people past 40 don't really have hobbies or money to spend on them. I'm overweight so I can't really use apps, and to be honest don't really want. So how a single woman without kids (can't have it) meet people?! Or do I just give up?! lol

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago

I think that depends on the groups that exist near you.

I know someone who was in a similar situation (divorced around 50), and she found a local hiking group of divorced people who wanted exactly what you're looking for. So maybe ask on a local group on some social networks?

Hiking specifically is great because it's an activity that both kinda forces people to talk, and also supplies a default topic for conversation (It's also free, healthy and doesn't require special skills). If you're not into hiking, maybe a book club? Volunteering groups, like other people suggested, also fits that bill. Point is, don't just look for [an activity] with people your age, think about how much that activity is conductive for making friends. Something with 10% people your age, but that encourages talking with each other, might be better than something with 90% people your age where the group listens to a teacher together and then everybody does their own thing separately.

Also, It might actually get easier to find new people in a few years. Some people wait for their kids to grow up/move out before divorcing, which creates a spike of single people at that age.